User:Jkarp/Favorite Quotes

Vanity is a vain enterprise on a Wiki, but I will try my best. Here is a list of quotes that I find rather amusing. If you don't do me the favor of leaving them here, rather than taking them down. Send me a message if you are particulary offended by one before you remove it. Anyway, here goes the list.

Dennis Ritchie
 * "UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity."

Al Goodman
 * "The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again."

John C. Dvorak
 * "In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear."

Nathaniel Borenstein
 * "The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."

WC Fields
 * I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison."

Mark Twain
 * "There are lies, damned lies and statistics."

Mike Barfield
 * "Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones."

Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
 * "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."

Steven Wright
 * "When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction."

David Dinkins, New York City Mayor
 * "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

George Stephanopolous, aid to President Clinton
 * "The President has kept all the promises he intended to keep."

Tom Lehrer
 * "Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"