User:Jlbettis/Afro-Mexicans/JohnFrum1441 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jlbettis


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jlbettis/Afro-Mexicans?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Afro-Mexicans

Evaluate the drafted changes
Good first draft!

For the edited portion that you added to the "Lead" section I would definitely include a source for the statement and edit the language a bit to make it more neutral.

The new section you are adding elevates the current content and adds additional information that alters the way one might think about the topic of "Afro Mexicans". My only suggestion is again to edit the language as best you can to make it more neutral and, additionally, edit the sentences to better flow into one another. For example:

" Due to The stress that was put on the importance of race mixing and “whitening” oneself, many led to a belief that it was prudent to simply ignore the Afro-Mexican population and its history as unimportant side notes of their history. "

Editing it in this way I feel would flow better to the following sentence where you discuss Jose Vasconcelos.