User:Jlharry12345/Buddhism in the United States/Natanxoza Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jlharry12345


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jlharry12345/Buddhism_in_the_United_States?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Buddhism in the United States

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello!

The first thing I noticed when I opened the article that you will be editing was the great disbalance in the development of some sections of the text. For example, only two sentences were written to introduce Zen Buddhism (“Zen was introduced to the United States by Japanese priests who were sent to serve local immigrant groups. A small group also came to study the American culture and way of life”). Then this section of the article was split into numerous subsections. On the other side, Tibetan Buddhism is explained in a huge portion of the text that could be better organized. Therefore, some sections in the article need more expansion, whereas the other, longer ones need citation verification.

I think that you recognized a lot of problems with the Wiki page you will be editing, and that your plan to focus on two or three big disadvantages in the article is a good idea. When you say that Wikipedia page is lacking “micro fields of Buddhism in America”, I understand that you use this term to describe all peculiar, but still important implications about Buddhism that are somehow overshadowed in American society. If this is what you meant, I completely agree with you, but I think that you still need to undertake this task with special care because such peculiar things can be a source of a lot of misunderstanding, conflict, and error. Therefore, my advice for you would be to make sure you understand the objectivity with which you need to write about all these things (if you need help with how to avoid crossing the line and becoming overly subjective, you can always go back to the introductory training we had to complete before even starting the Wikipedia project too!).

When it comes to sources you planned to use to achieve your goals for this Wiki article, I think they are great since we have been discussing some of the ones you plan to include. However, I have another suggestion for you which could help you enrich the Wiki page. If you scroll down the article, you will notice that the number of photos decreases and that, starting at the Association of American Buddhist, no images are present. Maybe you could also work on this.

In general, I think that you are on the right track, and I hope you will bring in some interesting things to refresh the article!

Natanxoza (talk) 19:52, 18 November 2022 (UTC)