User:Jmack2214/Slow violence/JKendraB Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jmack2214


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jmack2214/Slow_violence?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Slow violence

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
The terms "incremental and accretive" used in the definition in the introduction may be too specific. I would use simpler words in the first sentence as it may turn away readers who don't know what it means.

I think the lead does a good job at describing the articles major sections as it discusses definitions (which is a main section) and later mentions its connection to environmental degradation which leads into the examples section.

The sentence "The key outcome of slow violence is environmental degradation, long-term pollution and climate change" suggests that the only negative outcome is environmental damage. What about the social repercussions and the human rights violations? Maybe you can add a sentence about that as well afterwards.

Concise lead, good length.

Content
Under the definitions section, structural violence is discussed. If there is a pre-existing wikipedia article on structural violence it may be smart to add the link in your writing so they can learn about it more if interested.

Definitions section is well-written, unbiased and relevant. Good use of multiple definitions to demonstrate many different viewpoints.

The examples section has a good variety of different events and provides a good explanation of how slow violence was portrayed in those events.

If you are looking to add more examples, maybe consider adding examples from other parts of the world. The first three examples are North America focused, so if you wish to expand you can also look at events happening elsewhere. If you wish to include a broader perspective in the work you've already written, maybe consider adding some specific examples from different countries into the slow violence and women section.

Counter-violence section is well-written and uses many different examples from different parts of the world to support the statement. Great job!

Tone and Balance
The content has a focus on environmental consequences of slow violence, and although social consequences are discussed as well, they are not discussed to the same extent. Some simple changes can eliminate this bias, for example, as mentioned earlier, you can discuss the presence of social consequences in the intro to give a nod to its existence.

Other than that, the tone is professional and unbiased.

Sources and References
Good variety of sources, links work as well.

Most information is backed by a reliable source.

First couple sentences in the counter-violence section are not cited. Where is this information from?

Organization
Well organized, easy to read.

One potential grammar error: "For example, in Kenya, the Green Belt Movement mobilise the gradual violence of deforestation and soil erosion." Is it supposed to say "mobilizes" instead?

Images and Media
Good use of images. They are relevant to the content being discussed and well captioned.

Overall Impressions
Great job! I think it is very well written and is in a professional tone. There are a few changes you could make if you wish to expand your analysis of the topic, but you do a great job at backing up your statements with real life examples and scenarios :)