User:Jmoseley11/Tullus Hostilius/MinervaNix Peer Review

Peer review
General info

Reviewing: Jmoseley11

Link to draft you're reviewing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jmoseley11/Tullus_Hostilius

Lead

Good job in updated the lead, I just have a few clarifying questions.

· In the first paragraph where you wrote “It has been attested that he sought out war and was even more warlike than the first king of Rome, Romulus”. It is known who attested it?

· Also in the first paragraph where you wrote “Accounts of his death vary. In the mythological version of events Livy describes, he had angered Jupiter who then killed him with a bolt of lightning. Non mythological sources on the other hand describe that he died of plague.”

o  Are you still speaking about Romulus? If so, while they are interesting facts, they are not really relevant to an article on Tullus Hostilius. And I personally   would instead replace those sentences with how Tullus Hostilius died. However, if you are speaking of the death of Tullus Hostilius I would make the distinction clearer between the two. If you really want to keep those sentences, then I would suggest that make the distinction between where you are speaking of Romulus and back to Tullus Histilius.

Content


 * Content is well written and relevant to the topic. Content was added to help fill in missing pieces from the original, such as adding more to the Battle of Alba Longa section. Though I do have a question about that is it known when the Battle of Alba Longa started? If so, it would be a good item to place into    article.

Tone and Balance


 * The content added is neutral from what I can tell and there are no claims that appear heavily biased towards a position.

Sources and References


 * I know you have them, but I could not find the sources that you used for adding to the article. Please don’t forget to add the sources in.
 * When you do add in the sources, I would also add a source (if you haven’t already) about the information about the length of reign of the English    monarchy.

Organization


 * Organization is well done. I think it was a good idea to switch the Battle of Alba Longa and the construction of the Curia Hostilia, it helped the flow of the article.

Overall impressions


 * With your additions, the article is more complete, adding more information to    the lead and about the Battle of Alba Longa helps to round out the article.

Overall evaluation

· Jmoseley11 you did a good job add more relevant information to the article to make better rounded there were just a few things I found that I would add and or change to help the flow or to clarify. I placed these suggestions in lead and sources sections of this peer review. Your overall edits are good additions to this article.

·  One last thing, I know it is not an English class but in your last sentence of the first section if you move his name after reign the flow will be better. So for example. “ Hostilius  d[D]uring his reign, Hostilius created the college of the Fetiales that concluded all treaties in the name of Rome.” Suggested changes are in bold.