User:Jnordhoff13/South Africa–Sweden relations/Aikedumanwen Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jnordhoff13


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jnordhoff13/South_Africa%E2%80%93Sweden_relations?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * South Africa–Sweden relations

Evaluate the drafted changes
Firstly, it is important to note that an extremely great job has been done here by the expansion of the initial article on South-Africa-Sweden relations which was relatively simple and short in stark contrast to the draft which made it into something that is much more longer, more broader and a much better representation of relations between both nations.

The lead in the new draft is similar to what was in the original article but also highlighted that the position of Sweden as an anti-apartheid state stemmed from protests, boycotts and social movements within the Swedish public. This was a very important addition as it gave context to why Sweden held such a position.

However the lead of the original article was effectively all there was in the whole article about South Africa-Sweden relations. Hence the draft expands much more than that.

A challenge I observe is that a lot of perspectives were not given from the viewpoints of South Africa. It seemed too focused on Sweden's relationship with South Africa but with little information on what South Africa kind of offers. To avoid a one sided type situation, I believe more should be said about South Africa's role in the relations between both nations.

The categories of sub headings that were made in the draft are also noteworthy. While a huge part of relations and subheadings between both countries in the draft are related to the anti-apartheid movement, the draft also showcases current involvement between both nations which is to be appreciated.

A possible flaw in the draft is its lack of images to portray key points or people in South Africa-Sweden relations. This is very important as it will potentially give a more vivid imagination to the reader on how different events played out especially if an image of Olaf Palme was used as he was a key figure.

Excellent use of different sources were used in the draft and that has to be commended. The sources used were expanded from just two sources in the original to thirteen sources which was a great improvement. Lots of the sources portraying information on current developments were also recent with others which depicted events that happened in the distant past coming from very credible sources.

However, another issue with the draft is that it focuses too much on South Africa-Sweden relations in the 20th century and doesn't have much on recent activities or developments. There probably have to be more information on how well South Africa-Sweden relations are as of today with more in depth writing about it.

The draft itself is a masterpiece and adds much more content so I can only imagine how incredible the final output would be. I strongly encourage the good work!

Peer Review Response
I really appreciate the thoughtful and careful peer review.

You definitely are right about there being more from the Swedish perspective, so I will work on adding more from the South African perspective. That's a very helpful comment. There's lots of publications from this one particular Swedish author and one particular Swedish group, so it's easy to find sources from them. I will work harder to find South African sources.

I will definitely add in photos, as well as more information on recent relations. Looking forward to using these comments to help create a final draft!