User:JoJo-74r68h/Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City/LarissaSanders Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

JoJo-74r68h


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:JoJo-74r68h/Resident_Evil%3A_Welcome_to_Raccoon_City?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall, your work on the plot portion of this article was really good! I thought you were very detailed and thorough in your explanation while still being easy to follow. I liked how it seemed like you broke down each scene into it's own paragraph, I found that this helped clearly visualize what you were writing about. However, I know that this adds some considerable length to this section; if you're worried about your plot section being longer than the other sections in the article, I would say that you could combine some of the smaller paragraphs together. I don't know how it'll look when you transfer it over into the article, so if looks fine the way you have it then just keep it that way.

Even though this won't be in going into the final article, I appreciated how you underlined what you contributed to from the existing article; doing this made it super easy to keep track of what was your own work and allowed me to see just how much you contributed, so thank you for doing that!

A couple of things that I noticed were that there's a lot of extra spaces in between words and at the beginning of most of your sentences. For example, in the second paragraph, it's currently ". Meanwhile,  The truck driver" when it should be ". Meanwhile, the truck driver." There were a couple of typos and punctuation errors that I saw too. I would just go through, very carefully, every sentence and double check to make sure that all of those little mistakes are corrected. Other than that, there was nothing major that I thought needed to be worked on.

Great job!