User:JocelynMahri/South Chilcotin Mountains Provincial Park/Gabrielle.gagnon Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

JocelynMahri, Amanalisfu, Kuriffin, HL0105, Fersauvage


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:JocelynMahri/South_Chilcotin_Mountains_Provincial_Park?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * South Chilcotin Mountains Provincial Park

Lead

 * Lead is missing/not yet completed.

Content
I advise reviewing the rubric for this assignment and trying to bring in key elements outlined there into the information you've already provided in your article! This will give you the best chance at getting full marks on this assignment! Some points that can be improved (informed by the rubric) are:


 * I wish there was a lot more information on the role of Indigenous Peoples in development and management of the park, as well as the potential impacts on Indigenous Peoples in the area. Additionally, you could name the Indigenous Peoples whose ancestral land the park is located on in the lead section. I scanned the management plan that you have referenced throughout the article, and there is tons of information in there about their role in the development and management of the park! South Chilcotin Mountains Provincial Park is located within the traditional territories of the Tsilhqot’in, St’at’imc and Northern Secwepemc. Local Indigenous communities were some of the first people that were asked to give their input on the planning process, as well as asked to review the first draft of the management plan in 2014. The St’at’imc First Nation even drafted their own land use plan! This land use draft listed a number of interests relevant to planning and managing the park. The Tsilhqot’in Nation had interests and concerns in accessing the park for traditional uses and cultural sites. There is a long history of use of the land that the park is located on for many different uses. There are a number of goals listed in the plan for respecting and protecting their cultural values and assuring its availability for the cultural practices of future generations.
 * I think it would be super beneficial to add more information about why the park was created, along with how, and who was involved in the process. Additionally, it would be great to try to find information on how the park is managed, the management goals, and how progress on those goals are measured! Even if these are only briefly addressed and the goals/monitoring methods are in point form, it would add very important context to your article.
 * There is some content that is currently under the 'Geology' header (year the park was created, tourism sites and activities, park name change, recreational activities like hiking and fishing, that might be better placed elsewhere, probably earlier on in the article, like in the lead, and then later addressed in more depth in its own section (maybe called 'Recreation'?)! This section could then include all the information on fishing and hiking, along with other tourism related information like number of visitors per year!
 * You do a great job at explaining the way that the climate changes in the park throughout the year. It could be beneficial to try and find information on how climate change might further exacerbate these changes (like hotter summers, for example). Even if the information is about the factors impacting the climate in the general region the park is located in, and not specifically the park, you could totally apply it here!
 * You could go into more detail about the population trends of the endangered/special concern mammals and birds that you already introduce in the article. This would give the reader even more context on why this park is important for conservation purposes!

Tone and Balance

 * Great job maintain a neutral tone and presenting information in an unbiased way!

Sources and References

 * In-text citations are inconsistent. Most citations are located before the period at the end of the sentence, others are not. They should instead all come after the period (unless the citation occurs mid sentence, of course).
 * A few missing citations in Wildlife > Birds
 * Great use of up-to-date/recent sources. It would be beneficial to use more peer-reviewed sources. Government websites, documents and reports, ministry management plans and species registries are great, but on their own they do not represent a larger portion of the possible literature on the subject. I do understand it is hard to find sources on this topic though, great job so far!
 * The link to 'Clark's nutcracker' that is your references list leads to a page that does not exist. (www.natureconservancy.ca)

Organization

 * You should make use of the different heading formats on Wikipedia. A lot of your Subheadings could instead be Headings. This would help structure your article in a way that makes it easier for readers to locate information (both through scanning the article and clicking on section links from the 'Content' banner thing) and see the separation between topics you've covered in the article! 'Climate', 'Vegetation', 'Wildlife' and 'Geology' could be headings, with all subsequent information formatted as 'Subheading 1' instead of 'Subheading 2'.
 * A few grammatical/spelling errors in the article to look out for.
 * Example: Under Vegetation > Background: The South chilcotin (Chilcotin should be capitalized)
 * There is some use of informal language that might be better received if it were to be edited to read more professionally.
 * Example: Under Vegetation > Indigenous Peoples and History with the Vegetation, "For the Indigenous Peoples and communities of the Tsilhqot’in, St’at’imc, and Secwepemc Nations, they would go in large groups to go harvest kinnikinnick, soapberries, saskatoon, chokecherry and low bush berry and and use them for food and medicinal purposes". I would write it (which is only my opinion!) "Large groups from the Indigenous Communities of Tsilhqot’in, St’at’imc, and Secwepemc Nations would harvest kinnikinnick, soapberries, saskatoon, chokecherry and low bush berry, which they then used for food and medicine."
 * Example: Under Vegetation > Climate Change and Endangered Species, "Due to the altering changes in the temperature, it alters the ecosystems, putting endemic vegetation and their patterns at risk" could be edited to remove the redundancy of 'altering'/'alter', since 'altering changes' already implies that it alters the ecosystems.
 * Example: Under Vegetation > Indigenous Peoples and History with Vegetation: "Staples like the spring beauty, yellow avalanche lily, wild onion, chocolate lily, balsamroot, dandelion and prickly-pear cactus were all important stables to the communities." Lists plants as 'Staples' but does not explain staples of what (dietary staples?). Additionally, the second use of 'staples' in the sentence (although written 'stables', but I'm assuming it's meant to be staples), is redundant and one of them can be removed for a more professional sounding sentence!
 * Great use of tables under the Geology section! It creates a great visual break from the text and creates a great way to provide information that would otherwise be much more difficult to communicate/read if just written out in text form.
 * The heading for your references section should be moved to above your references list.
 * The subheading 'climate change and endangered species' would be better suited to being moved under the 'Wildlife' heading.
 * I really like the way that you broke down the different 'zones' under 'Vegetation'. Great structure!

Overall Impression

 * I think it would be great if you were to make more use of hyperlinks in your article! There are some, but providing hyperlinks to connected Wikipedia pages, especially for more obscure or not-too-well-known concepts, would allow readers to quickly access the information they need to better understand the content. Of course, it is easy to over do it, but there are lots of places that could benefit from hyperlinks in your article, mostly under wildlife where almost every species mentioned has a Wikipedia page you could link to!
 * I really enjoyed reading through and learning about the different species that live in the park. Good work on doing a thorough job of identifying plant and animal species that are present in the park and even the interactions among them!