User:JocelynMahri/South Chilcotin Mountains Provincial Park/Natashasing987 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

JocelynMahri, Amanalisfu, Kuriffin, HL0105, Fersauvage


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:JocelynMahri/South_Chilcotin_Mountains_Provincial_Park?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * South Chilcotin Mountains Provincial Park

Evaluate the drafted changes
I learned about the various insect species that inhabit the park, and their interactions with other species. For instance, the mountain pine beetle was mentioned in the insect section telling the reader that it first and foremost is an insect, in addition to the negative interactions they have with pine trees. I liked the addition of the mountain table which specified height and geological history.

There were many strong points in your article, such as using the bold function to highlight important topics made your article easier to read. Linking scientific words to other Wikipedia pages is good for the average reader who might not have previous knowledge on the topic. I also liked how in depth the article went into certain topics.

The draft article meets 5 of the required themes.

Areas of improvement include mentioning how significant Indigenous Peoples are to the park in the present. The draft article mentions what they did in the past, but I think it would be useful to add what they do now in relation to the park (ex: whether they contributed to the protection of the area). Adding Pictures to certain sections would also enhance the readers understanding of the topic. Especially for topics like climate, geology, and insects where the topics are either more complex or could benefit with photos. Expanding on the tourism section since it is already mentioned.

To make your article easier to understand, making certain statements more concise would add to the understanding of the reader. For instance, "The valleys are home to an abundance of old growth spruce and pine forests, connecting to significant mid-elevation grasslands accompanied with small groves of aspen trees, which are surrounded by wildflower meadows, where more than 125 endemic species of wildflowers can bloom." If you can make this sentence more concise I think it would help the reader not get bogged down in the details. Rewording this sentence to make it more concise would be beneficial to contribute to your readers understanding of the topic: "In regards to the trees such as lodgepole pine and white spruce, the inner bark would be scraped and eaten.". In this sentence: "where they stay for only a moment" quantify how long the species stays in the park if the information is available. Otherwise this sentence doesn't add to the readers understanding and forces the reader to ask "how long is a moment?". Be more specific with this statement "on a landscape level", how big is a landscape level? How much area is destroyed? Remove the statement "According to information provided by the BC Parks website" as the website should already be linked in the footnotes. Make this statement more specific: "these creatures can be found". Instead replace with "individuals", or just "big horn sheep can be found".

The article is broken into sections well, for instance breaking up a section by bolding the title helps to differentiate what is being discussed in the main topic. Doing this in the other sections would keep the reader engaged and make it more clear. There are a few areas of improvement, for instance separating the information about how the park was created and tourism information from the geology section and creating a tourism section since there is already that information in the draft.

The tone of the article is professional and maintains a neutral stance.

The sources used in the article were credible and there were plenty of sources to verify the information. There were a few sentences where there wasn't a source. This sentence "This climate would render it impossible for many bird species to survive." does not have a reference nor does it expand on how that would occur. This sentence needs a citation in the footnotes on where the reader can access more information: "According to information provided by the BC Parks website, the diversity of terrains in the South Chilcotin mountains helps foster numerous groups of mammals, creating a diverse ecosystem in which interaction through species is crucial for the maintenance of the land".

The article is well balanced and contains only vital information, although certain sections could be more concise in their wording. There are sections that have some of the same information, for example the information on pine beetles is duplicated twice in the endangered species and climate change section, and the insects section. Although the information is pertinent to both, each section should only contain information that is necessary to the respective section.

Relevant perspectives on this topic were included. Adding a section for recreation would be useful to include those who use the park for those purposes.