User:Joereadel/The Day of the Triffids/WillKBeatty Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:Joereadel


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Joereadel/The_Day_of_the_Triffids


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_of_the_Triffids

Evaluate the drafted changes
I don't see any edits for the Lead, which isn't necessarily an issue as I can see the existing lead is quite complete within the original article. The article is already C-Class so the room for improvement is going to be a bit slimmer, but it is also considered High-Importance so your edits are going to be considered more critical for the work.

The edits you've made in the Summary section help to make the article more coherent and easier to read, but I would double-check and make sure you don't have any run-on sentences such as; The novel's protagonist is Bill Masen, a biologist who has made his living working with triffids—tall, venomous, carnivorous plants capable of locomotion that are cultivated around the world for the high quality industrial oil they produce. An important thing to keep note is that the summary should be roughly around 700~ words, (feedback which I personally received from WikiEdu staff). It may be beneficial to actively trim the summary of non-critical information if possible.

the Publication History is fairly small on the existing article, so if you have any extra information, that could be a beneficial area to work on.

I don't see many edits to the Influences section, but it does seem that you've actually provided sourcing for some of the existing claims which is incredibly good.

Your addition of a Themes  section looks to be incredibly well put together and also incredibly diverse. You've given this quite a lot of effort and I believe this will be a huge benefit for the article. The only thing you may need to be careful of is making any unsubstantiated claims. Wikipedia has rules against 'Synthesis' as in we cannot interpret events ourselves, we can only parrot what other authors may have said about the story unless explicitly stated within said media. Your sentence The triffids themselves are the product of selective breeding for the purpose of oil extraction, which points to the notion that the apocalypse was brought on by mankind’s desire to advance despite the threats posed by unchecked scientific progress. makes a claim about mankind's desire but it isn't really compounded by the sourcing you later provide. If you have any source or reference to back up this statement, I'd add it here. As for the Post-WWII British Politics and the Loss of Identity, you've thoroughly sourced these claims.

Overall I'd say you've made some great improvements to the article, my only advice would be to maybe trim down the Summary and clean up any run-on sentences/grammar.

WillKBeatty (talk) 20:16, 21 April 2021 (UTC)