User:John300510

About
Hey. This is my first web page. You guys can feel free to use anything here for your computer if you want to. I use the pictures here for backgrounds and stuff. I use the quotes for my screensaver.

http://forums.invisionize.com/lofiversion/index.php/t86942.html

Quotes
'''Okay, folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, show's... Oh my God! A horrible plane crash! Hey, everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around! Don't be shy,''' crowd around!

For every person wishing to teah, there are thirty not wanting to be taught.

Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.

If you don't go to people's funerals, they won't come to yours.

Maybe for once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding 'You're making a scene'.

'''When you're an experienced woodsman, you get a feel for these things. It's like a third sense.'''

Donuts ... is there anything they can't do?

I am so smart. S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.

'''Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I leave the hair silkyand smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really!'''

I drew the duck blue because I never have seen a blue duck and I want to see a blue duck.

'''Okay Mr. Penguin. I'm gonna take you to the zoo where you'll meet some nice people, they'll treat you real respectable like.'''

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.

Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.

I fart in your general direction!

There is no spoon.

Stop trying to hit me and hit me!

I know kung fu.

Hey, where's my sausage McMuffin?

When you get to a fork in the road, take it.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

'''A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation.'''

Actions speak louder than words, but isn't speaking an action?

Anything is a weapon if you swing it right.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

'''•  Girls are evil (mathematical proof) '''

Girls = Time x Money

but since Time is Money

Girls = Money x Money = Money2

Now since Money is the root of all evil

Money = √ Evil

And hence combining both equations we get

Girls = (√Evil)2 = Evil

Thus Girls = Evil.

If 'pro' is the opposite of 'con', what is the opposite of 'progress'?

Never look down on anyone unless you're helping him up.

Nothing is impossible, just improbable.

'''The more you study, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget, the more you forget, the less you know. So why study? '''

There are only 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary and those who don't.

'''You know, when you read Moby Dick the second time Ahab and the whale become good friends. '''

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

"And Now That I Nuked The Old Folks Home I'm Fresh Out Ideas!"Black Mage-8-Bit Theatre All Your Base are Belong to Us

"One who knows nothing can understand nothing" - Ansem

'''I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every moment of it! '''

Genius has limitations, but stupidity is boundless.

Alzheimer's advantage: New friends every day.

Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.

'''I'll bet the meaning of life has a lot to do with sandwiches. '''

If I poured steaming hot gravy down my pants......would you laugh?

'''I went into the Citco gas station this morning and asked for five dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.'''

One by one, the penguins steal my sanity.

You laugh at me because I’m crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder!

I bet my giraffe can kick your giraffe's butt.

'''The only difference between me and them is that they think I'm crazy. I know I am!!!'''

Pictures