User:JohnBhoy69/sandbox

John 'Boy' Ritchie
Born in the humble surrounding's of Lisburn in the early 1800's John's simple upbringing resulted in a fear of anything linked to technology. The arrival of cars in the 1900's exacerbated his fears resulting in the Great Clock Factory fire of 1947 which was unfairly blamed on the Luftwaffe. The Lisburn Chronicle stated that this smoke screen was a master stroke diversion which enabled John 'Money' Ritchie to set up his drugs and prostitution racket which still thrives to this day.

After the great train robbery in which John 'The Bull' Ritchie teamed up with the legend Ronnie Biggs he used his notable political contacts to divert attention to his Brazilian bound ex-partner as he jetted off for a simple lifesytle in the Austrailian outback free from any technology. It was here that John 'Crocodile' Ritchie met a young Paul Hogan who was on a field trip gathering knowledge for a proposed film. It was later stated in the Lisburn Lizard Newspaper that Paul dedicated his performance to the great John 'The Hermit' Ritchie.

The lure of women, cocaine and vodka proved too much for John 'Big Money' Ritchie to leave behind for long and he returned to our shores with his gangster's moll Christine 'Crazy Legs' Cockhogger. His return to the shores of Ireland lead to a power struggle over turf. It was at this point John 'Killer' Ritchie estabilished himself once again as one of the world's most notorious criminal's. Arrested in connection with a number of high profile murders John 'No Balls' Ritchie entered witness protection in a deal which saw his arch rivial Stevie 'No Phone' Hayfever jailed and John 'The Opportunist' Ritchie free to pull off the Northern Bank robbery.

Shortly after the money laundering of this operation in which John 'Captain' Ritchie's lack of knowledge of technology led to £5million being lost to industrial washing machines he was seen at various showbiz events behind the scenes, revellers at the Viper Room made statements to teh police about a mysterious snake-hipped stranger gyrating through the crowd to have a private discussion with River Phoenix shortly before his death and it is rumoured that the same man had partied with Kurt Cobain in the early 90's, their apparent friendship even extending to the lend of a shotgun. When the author, Thomas Harris, visited him briefly during a short time incarcerated in Alcatraz he was shaken to his core by the enigmatic John 'Hannibal' Ritchie and his apparent control over the inmates. After his release John 'Disco Pants' Ritchie continued his hedonistic lifestyle but concentrated on the great and good of London High society. It was at this time that he was rumoured to be involved in a love triangle with the Princess of Wales and Dodi Fayed both apparently smitten by the suave sophisticate. Suicide pact contracts after the pair were rejected by John 'Cassanova' Ritchie were apparently retrieved from the crash in Paris and subsequently destroyed to avoid controversy by the British Royal Family.

Keen to escape the public eye it is believe John 'The Shadow' Ritchie took a public service job in an effort to remain anonymous but word on the street is he's planning to pull a few stings and will be back in business once again.