User:Johnyha/Ngozi Iwere/Cliopentimento Peer Review

General info
Johnyha
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Johnyha/Ngozi_Iwere?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Good work on this draft. It's well-written. I would try to shift some things around as I suggested below (in ALL CAPS BOLD) and expand on the parts that I suggested. KM

Lead
Ngozi Iwere, an Ashoka Fellow since 1996, is '''IS SHE A DOCTOR? JOURNALIST? ACTIVIST? EXPLAIN WHO SHE IS HERE BY USING NOUNS''' pioneering a comprehensive community-based approach to HIV/AIDS prevention in Nigeria. Unlike traditional methods focusing solely on high-risk groups, Iwere's model involves the entire community, recognizing that everyone is at risk. Her Community Life Project collaborates with local networks like hair salon unions, marketplaces, and schools to disseminate prevention and treatment information effectively. (WHERE IS THE COMMUNITY LIFE PROJECT BASED? WOULD BE GOOD TO INCLUDE HERE) This innovative strategy challenges the prevalent expert-driven, top-down public health communication, opting instead for a community-driven approach. Iwere's work, especially in her hometown of Isolo, includes organizing focus groups, educational workshops, and collaborative events with various community segments. This model not only addresses HIV/AIDS but also other health concerns identified by the community, such as STDs and family planning. Born in 1956 and having faced the adversities of the Nigerian civil war and rural poverty, Iwere's background in language teaching, journalism, and activism shapes her effective community organizing skills. (THIS SENTENCE ABOUT HER BIRTH SEEMS MISPLACED HERE AND THIS SENTENCE AND THE NEXT ONE DON'T REALLY FLOW TOGETHER. I SUGGEST MOVING DISCUSSION OF NIGERIAN CIVIL WAR TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH) Her belief in community empowerment and her role as a catalyst for awakening creative energy in communities underpin this groundbreaking project in Nigerian public health.

Article body
ARE YOU GOING TO ORGANIZE THE BODY PARAGRAPHS INTO DIFFERENT SECTIONS?

Ngozi Iwere, born on August 12, 1956, in Illah Delta State, Nigeria, has been a formidable figure in the field of social activism and community development. '''THIS SENTENCE SEEMS LIKE A MORE APPROPRIATE ONE TO START THE LEAD. FOR THIS PARAGRAPH ON HER EARLY LIFE, DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER CLASS BACKGROUND? HER PARENTS?''' Her journey into activism began early, rooted in her experiences during her education at the College of Education, Abraka, Delta State, where she received a National Certificate in Education in 1977. Her academic excellence continued at Bayero University, Kano, Nigeria, where she graduated Cum Laude in French. Beyond her academic pursuits, Iwere was deeply involved in student activism, which later transitioned into her role as a journalist with the African Guardian and Business in Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) magazines. Her career in journalism focused on foreign issues and national crises, reflecting her deep commitment to social justice. This early foundation set the stage for her future endeavors in health activism, particularly in the area of HIV/AIDS prevention.

THIS EARLY SECTION IS WHERE YOU SHOULD DISCUSS AND DEVELOP WHAT YOU ALLUDE TO ABOVE RE THE NIGERIAN CIVIL WAR AND HER OWN EXPERIENCES W RURAL POVERTY

Iwere's path took a significant turn when she engaged in the fight against HIV/AIDS in the late 80s and early 90s, a period when the disease was a major threat in Africa. Alongside her role as a journalist, she was actively involved in forming the first real feminist organization in Nigeria, Women in Nigeria (WIN). BRIEFLY EXPLAIN WHAT THIS ORG WAS/IS Her leadership as the national coordinator of WIN was instrumental in starting a society for women and AIDS in Africa. This involvement marked a pivotal moment in her career, as she realized the need for a more inclusive approach to health issues, encompassing both men and women. This realization led to the founding of the Community Life Project (CLP) in 1992, a grassroots development organization focused on participatory approaches to health education and civic engagement. The CLP and the later established Reclaim Naija Grassroots Movement in 2010 were critical in promoting community-based health initiatives, particularly in the areas of HIV/AIDS prevention and women's reproductive health and rights. BRIEFY EXPLAIN A BIT MORE ABOUT WHAT BOTH PROJECTS WERE AND DID, HOW LARGE THEY WERE, WHERE IN AFRICA THEY HAD A PRESENCE, ETC.

The effectiveness of Iwere's approach lies in her ability to connect with various community sectors, leveraging existing networks to foster health education and prevention. Her work with hair and beauty salon unions, artisans, and traders in marketplaces exemplifies her innovative methods of disseminating health information. BE SURE TO NOT REPEAT THE EXACT WORDS OF WHAT YOU WRITE ABOVE IN THE LEAD The African Feminist Forum (AFF), which she coordinates, further expands her influence, bringing together activists, researchers, and practitioners from across Africa to address feminist issues. Iwere's model of community-based HIV/AIDS prevention has been pivotal in reducing stigma and promoting health-seeking behaviors among communities. Her efforts have not only contributed significantly to public health in Nigeria but also serve as a model for other countries facing similar challenges. '''DO YOU HAVE EVIDENCE OF THIS? IF SO THAT WOULD BE IMPORTANT TO CITE AND ALSO EXPAND ON''' Her journey from an activist and journalist to a renowned health advocate underscores the power of dedication, innovation, and community engagement in effecting positive change. '''THIS LAST SENTENCE DOES NOT SEEM NUETRAL OR APPROPRIATE FOR AN ENCYCLOPEDIA-ENTRY. I'D RE-WORD OR DELETE.'''