User:Jojordan7/David van kraus

David Van Kraus (born June 8, 1984) is often bearded or semi-bearded and is best known for earning the bronze medal for team USA at 84 kilograms in the 2009 Maccabiah Games in the Freestyle Wrestling event . He is most affectionately known for introducing team USA to "the name game," "the soft-pudding incident," and for his instrumental role in defeating the villainous Russians in a contest of Beach Volleyball, which was later to become known as the second-coming of the Cold War. David currently resides in Baltimore, Maryland. He has a sister named Allison, not to be confused with the successful country singer Allison Kraus. David grew up in Bethesda, Maryland, where attended Winston Churchill High School. He furthered his education at Johns Hopkins University, and further furthered his education by obtaining a Master's degree in teaching, also from Johns Hopkins University. He was a force to be reckoned with on Johns Hopkins University's wrestling team, most known for his relentless "pit bull-like attacks" on competitors. Kraus continues to test his skills at the River Hill Open Tournament every Spring, and selflessly coaches the Archbishop Curley High School wrestling team. His coaching philosophy is democratic, and utilizes a strategy he has spent years mastering that involves the whispering of "secret" moves and techniques in order to gather as much attention by the blossoming wrestlers as possible. In recent times, he is attempting to develop the popularity of an obscure alcoholic concoction known as the "Justin Timberlake." The "JT" has magical properties in the sense that it is known to cure hangovers before they occur, as well as a penchant for encouraging the drinker to obtain a thirst for more "JT's." It consists of one part Jack Daniels mixed with an equal part of pickle juice. For the record, David prefers a high quality brand of pickle juice. The "Justin Timberlake" (beverage) has garnered popularity in the greater Baltimore area, and is working it's way up and down the eastern coast of the United States. It is important to note that David's talents are not limited to hawking libations at his favorite Baltimore-area establishments. During the summer of 2010 he directed and cowrote a play entitled "The Zombie Sushi Parlor." It is rumored that talks are in the works with Dreamworks and Pixar for the movie rights for the script. Mr. Kraus has been the recipient multiple knee surgeries, his most recent being the repairing of a torn medial meniscus (Sept. 2010). However ominous and daunting it seems, the torn medial meniscus was in fact a very positive incident in David's life. In what was supposed to have been a friendly teacher-student game of soccer, the game brought out David's animalistic (and predictable) no-holds-barred attitude, causing him to slide tackle a 13-year old. The aforementioned slide tackle ended up delivering enough pain to David's left knee that he consulted a Doctor's expert opinion. The Doctor mistakenly diagnosed David's left knee a torn ACL, which sent David into a temporary downward spiral involving several vices that are better not mentioned in a family-friendly environment such as his very own Wikipedia page. The downward spiral lasted for eight days, and similar to the miracle of Hannukkah, on the eighth day of his downward spiral David discovered that what was thought to have been a severed ACL joint was only a torn medial meniscus! David was most recently spotted in his living room involved in an epic 70ish hour FIFA battle on Sony Playstation 2.


 * Recent update- David enjoys romantic comedies and trips to Argentina. He is anxiously anticipating his new tattoo, which will feature an electrocardiogram signal pulsing around his thigh.  User JoJoJordan also anticipates receiving a similar tattoo.***