User:Jonathandavidray

Hi everyone my name is Jonatham David Ray and i'm a Jehova's witness and i want to make the world a better place.

I currently work for the homeoffice with my Gaffer, Gary Phillips and work colleagues Nick Coles, who's a living legend, Hashim Matata who's a w***er, and Gareth Moore. We form the Messenger team, the heart and sole of the Homeoffice. We have a messenger team theme tune which is "I wanna know what love is" by Foreigner.

Here are the lyrics in case you care to sing a long. http://www.lyricsfreak.com/f/foreigner/i+want+to+know+what+love+is_20054919.html

  Being a Jehova witness I a good boy and i never swear, only in my head to people i hate like Hashim Matata, If you feel the need to follow in Jehova please go to the below link and take some time and maybe you will join a better world. http://www.watchtower.org/

My colleagues say i'm a bit silly. Here are some examples of my salleged stupidness!! If you can think of anything else stupid i have done in my short life please add it in, Thanks :)

1. I put my debit card in the washing machine by mistake and when i removed it after a 40.C wash a spin cycle I found out that the washing machine had removed £4 from my account, this is true as my account was £34 before it went in the wash and only £30 afterwards. 2. My cat Tigger pooed in my bed and blamed me to which i'm stilled blamed for the mess. My cat looked at me with a smile after she did it. F***king cat. 3.

People say I look like famous people. For example:- Prince Harry Stan (from the eminem video)

The lady in my life (currently) is a girl called Chanel She is very pretty and i like her, i dream about her a lot and sometimes wake up a bit sticky but being a witness means it's not cum. My ideal woman is someone who is Beautiful on the inside and out which means i don't have a chance of ever getting some. Oh well at least i swing both ways, which is why my favourite film is Brokeback mountain, I really admire them cowboys.