User:Joq Oliver/Deep sea mining/Nkaba224 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Joq Oliver


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/users/Joq%20Oliver


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * User:Joq Oliver/Deep sea mining

Evaluate the drafted changes
The grammar used in the article is great. Deep-sea mining is not a fun topic for most people. However, the way that you have argued your points is extremely amazing. This is a very absorbing and interesting article. Well-written and constructed grammatical structures make the article worth reading. I am particularly intrigued by the fact that you have such great knowledge about the topic. The organization of ideas from the “history, laws and regulations, resources mined, extraction methods, environmental impacts to controversy” is impeccable.

The introductory sentence indeed reflects the main theme of the article. Precise and well-articulated arguments to the lead are well presented. However, I noticed some problems with the organization of the leads. I would recommend that you organize your leads from the general to the specifics. Content-wise, there are a few mistakes but nothing a fresh pair of eyes can’t correct. I would recommend that you get a fresh pair of eyes or two to help correct the content. The article does not include the equity gaps in Wikipedia. This is great.

There are a few pointers that I would like to comment on in regards to the content. There is an exaggeration of the impacts of deep-sea mining on the environment. It seems that you are opposing mining and exacting all the pressure on the environmental impacts. For instance, when you stress that researchers have said that “removing some parts of the sea would disturb the habitat of benthic organisms with unknown effects," it is just an exaggeration; furthermore, the reference you provided for this statement is not valid. No such research is presented on the given citation.

The other recommendation that I have on the article is that you add more references on the topic “extraction method”  the topic is extensive and requires a lot of research. Adding more citations will make the work easier to read and get the references. Another issue is the relevance of the article. For instance, the provided citation does not have any meaning of deep-sea mining on the topic sentence. As such, this can misguide the reader. I would recommend that you make sure that you cite the proper in-text citations where necessary. Finally, the primary sources have included all the works cited in the article. However, I would recommend that you delete the references in other works that are not related to the topic because the list will be extensive, and some of the references are not connected in any way. Lastly, I would recommend that you add a picture or an image related to your topic.

In general, the article is great and only requires a few changes. Otherwise, I congratulate you for writing a fine article.