User:Jordan Romanus

Jordan Christopher Romanus, also known as Jesus Christ is a marine biologist, astronaut, lion, occasional pimp, and former boomerang user (stopped playing when his roommate chucked the boomerang into an Amazon-like forest). While studying at his own university in the early 1200s, he wrote the Magna Carta out of boredom.

Jordan Romanus has been recognized by many modern day artists. When a reporter asked Bob Marley to whom he was referring to when he wrote the song "I shot the sheriff" Bob pointed to the sky, which clearly means Jordan Romanus killed some little shithead. Also, in the ACDC song "You Shook Me All Night Long", Angus Young was referring to Jordan Romanus.

Many people have attempted to write a biography about him. Most of the books go under the boring name of the Bible, which in translation usually is interpreted as "The Book." Clearly, he thinks this is not good enough, but they will all die miserable deaths anyway, so what does Jordan Romanus care.

During the Civil war, Jordan fought on the South's side and won. It was just everyone else that lost. To this day Jordan Romanus is a staunch supporter for secession, or whatever it takes to not be in the same country as New Jersey and all of that white trash.

After much speculation and debate, there is general consent amongst the scientific community that Jordan Romanus, not humanity, is the cause of global warming. When asked by Glen Beck if he cares, Jordan Romanus responded, "Whatever it takes to get your fat, pig-like face off the television."