User:Josetg23/Elizabeth Metis Settlement/Smdelacruz Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Josetg23


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Josetg23/Elizabeth Metis Settlement
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Elizabeth Metis Settlement
 * Elizabeth Metis Settlement

Evaluate the drafted changes
Considering adding an edited version of the present lead at the beginning of your draft! I think your article could benefit from it. The lead in the live Wikipedia article gives a technical definition of the settlement, without really explaining WHAT it is. I think you can add to that. Even just a sentence or two would be a huge improvement to the current live lead.

Your organization by time period, and by subject (culture, religion, etc.) was excellent! It made your article very easy to follow and made it an enjoyable read. You might consider adding a section that covers the Metis settlement from 1975 to the present day. I was definitely left wondering what the settlement is like now, and if there have been any important developments since 1975 (I definitely found myself asking if they were disproportionately affected by COVID, like many minority groups, communities, and areas are.) Your citations are also very impressive. Your article is well-supported by many sources, and you seem to have more to add to! Well done!

The main area that may need a bit of revising is the first bit—particularly the "Origin" section and the "Metis Betterment Act". These areas go back and forth between referencing the Betterment Act that was in '38 and events that took place in the 1800s, and it made it a bit difficult to follow. You might consider describing events in a bit more linear fashion in these sections, just for the sake of clarity.

The name section and the religion section are a bit short. Unless you're in the process of adding to them, perhaps you could combine them with other sections.

This is more of a stylistic piece of criticism, but you use the word "settlement" a lot in your article. Consider revising to cut out a few of those usages. It can get just a bit repetitive! You also have a few "thanks to ___" phrases in your article, which come off as a bit too informal, and not neutral enough. Consider rephrasing.

I notice you haven't added images, but I just assume that that's because this is a rough draft, so no worries on that front. But if you're able, I would absolutely love to see an image of the sash you mentioned in the culture section!

Overall, this is an excellent draft! Your language is clear and mostly neutral, and it's an easy and enjoyable read. You left me with all kinds of new questions about this settlement, having piqued my interest. I'll leave them below for you in case they help you brainstorm/generate more content/etc. But overall, this is really excellent! Thanks for the interesting read!

Questions (other than the ones I've mentioned in my review above):

What specific tribes/nations/peoples do these inhabitants' ancestors come from?

Is the Elizabeth settlement known for anything in particular?

Why was it named the Elizabeth settlement? Was it named after a particular Elizabeth?

What are living conditions like now in this settlement?

Have any figures of note come from this settlement?

Is there anything of note that distinguishes them from the other Metis settlements set up during this time?

Does this settlement function as its own territory, or is it like any other city/town in Canada?