User:JoshuaERS/Military base/YH4DU Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

JoshuaERS


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:JoshuaERS/Military_base?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Military base

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The work you have done shows the negative impact of the military base on the environment, which is an important update to the military base page. Firstly, the lead you have provided is generally concise, and not overly detailed. Also, the lead have included an excellent introduction sentence that description of the article's major sections and it does not included any information that is not present in the content.

Secondly, the content is relevant to the topic, where the only thing that you should improve on for your content is provide a bit more data to support the statement that you have made. For example, when you say "Additionally, noise pollution is a common side-effect of military training activities, which is particularly problematic for the marine life which surrounds naval military bases", where I feel you can provide more data on the type of marine life been impact by nosie pollution.

Thirdly, the content is neutral and the viewpoints are overrepresented. In addition, all the data is acked up by a reliable secondary source of information and all the sources are most currently update. For image,one thing you could improve is to replace the red-cockaded woodpecker image to some thing that can help the reader enhance understanding of the topic.

Lastly, the article content is easy to read, but there is some gammar mistake. For example, in the "contamination from Military Bases", where you say, "Contamination from base operations and maintenance is so pervasive that 149 active and abandoned domestic United States Forces bases have been listed by the United States Environmental Protection Agency as among the most toxic areas in the continental United States". I might reword this to "Contamination from base operations and maintenance is so pervasive that the United States Environmental Protection Agency has listed 149 active and abandoned domestic United States Forces bases as among the most toxic areas in the continental United States".

Overall, you have done a great job on your assignment and I felt hopeful reading your research. The only thing that you should make some improvement on is grammar and image.