User:Jossyboy45

Jocelyn Ayub (born July 27th, 1989) is an upper-middle class male, who currently attends St. John's College Sixth Form in Southsea, Hampshire. Jocelyn currently studies A-Levels in Maths, Chemistry, French and German (at Portsmouth High School). He is one of St. Johns' most respected pupils, having achieved 6 'A*' and 3 'A' grades at GCSE level. He was very surprised at these results because his alcoholic parents didn't provide much support. He also shops at Waitrose, for over priced sandwiches.

Jocelyn is a keen speaker of European languages, and he wishes his friends to call him (although none do) the 'Trilinguial Mingle', given his adaptability to convert languages very quickly and accurately. He is also a keen mathematician, often throwing pens at the wall when his answers don't match those in the answer book. He is on track for straight As for his A-Levels.

Once Jocelyn started his own imaginary band called 'Jocelyn goes to town'. His life started spiralling downwards when he met his girlfriend Megan who resembles the Renault car of the same name. He has the reputation of turning upto a yr 8 disco (which he was supervising) drunk. At a similar disco he kissed passionately a yr 8. He also once for a Biology lesson made a video about 'amazing' yoghurt in which after eating he shrunk in size.

Jocelyn's chemistry practicles are the stuff of legends. To date he has run up over £2'000 in broken equipment, and has come close to killing several pupils and at least two teachers. The most famous example of his practical skill came in an assessed practical, when he somehow managed to blow up a burette. He has also been known to have a fascination with fire and enjoys dropping large pieces of sodium into concentrated sulphuric acid. He also once drank a flask of ethanol when he learned it was more commonly known as Alcohol. His chemistry escapades are generally believed to be the result of copious amounts of cider he regularly consumes with lunch. He does not enjoy physical execise. He is a member of the young Conservative Association. He often cites Margaret Thatcher as his idol.

Jocelyn is also a keen reader and writer. Being an intellectual being, Jocelyn has written several reviews for several websites on books and CDs. He is a keen player of the piano and occsaionally likes to strum a guitar, and appreciates only 'goodish' music. Some of his favourite genres of music include country, country rock, AOR and progressive rock. His favourite band is Yes and his favourite artist is Billy Joel... What a legend! He also likes Barbie Girl by Aqua and has many Aqua posters adorning his bedroom walls.

In the future, Jocelyn isn't sure of working in a modest-sized multinational company, such as 'Sachs of Goldmen'. People often say he's destined to be a Merchant Banker, although I think that's cockney-rhyming slang for something else. He has also starred in many self help videos such as I've got a major drinking problem' and 'My girlfriend's a fatty!'