User:Jsweav3/Gina Prince-Bythewood/Mecstud Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jsweav3


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jsweav3/Gina_Prince-Bythewood?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Gina Prince-Bythewood

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think your lead is clean and clear. I like the idea of highlighting the themes in her work. Often Wiki pages miss this, when it is something I look for in filmmakers I'm exploring.

The content you've added is great. I like the emphasis on her personal intentions and the use of her quotes. This really helps to get a complete idea of what her films meant to her, and what she wanted them to mean to audiences. I think emphasizing her themes in representing women of color really helps round out her page, since her original Wiki page has a topical overview of what she's worked on and her personal life.

Moving to the tone, I do feel a little bit of persuasion in some of the statements, after going to their source links. Ex: "Prince-Bythewood’s films work to resist negative conceptions and ideologies about the ability for women to be dynamic figures who are both successful in their professional pursuits and their maintenance of romantic relationships." Although this is true and powerful, without a source, it may feel like a personal interpretation to other editors/readers. Maybe keeping statements like these to be more like this one: "Prince-Bythewood indicated a particular investment in spotlighting the humanity of the characters that her films depict. " By stating that she personally indicated it, and with a source, I think it will have less of a chance of being flagged as persuasive. In my article, I discuss themes as well and found it incredibly difficult not to make my statements sound like a personal interpretation or desire to highlight. Otherwise, I love the tone of the article and the specific themes you highlight. They're super important and should've been in Prince-Bythewood's article from the start.

Your sources seem recent, relevant, and have a lot of good quotes directly from the filmmaker herself.

The only grammatical error I noticed while reading your draft was the use of "forefronts" as a verb in your sixth sentence. Maybe rearranging some of the terms around would allow it to be used as a noun instead. I did the same with some words while trying not to make my source quotes too similar to the original.

No photos or media were attempted in the draft. Trying to add a photo scared me and I decided against it, so I totally get it.

Overall, it's a great paragraph and addition! I think Gina Prince-Bythwood would greatly appreciate having this added to her Wikipedia page, especially her personal quotes. I learned a lot about her films myself just reading your draft. I think after shifting the tone slightly in some of your sentences, it'll be perfect to publish. Response to Peer Review (jsweav3)

Thank you for this feedback! I completely agree with the suggestion to support the neutrality/tone of the article by adding direct quotes speaking to the themes of her work. I appreciate your feedback! - Jayden W.