User:Juicestain

its name is juicestain

The life of the greatest ever
The amazing juicestain was born in LA and lived in the back of a church for 2 months where he gained his mystical powers. His father was a simple priest and his mother was a filipina woman named ligaya he met doing journalism. Juicestain's father's life was saved by a miracle that turned him into a priest overnight. He transferred all his amazing powers to juicestain when he was little. Juicestain lived in Labrador, but hates canada(long story), and then Alaska for 2 years. He then flew to live in the capital of Wisconsin, Madison.

It was here that juicestain would become the greatest mind the world has ever known. Soon after a secret organization needed juicestain for its own selfish purposes to which he replied: "nay, even when the moon shall crash through the skies above and tartarus claws at me through the ground i shall not be moved... all your base are belong to us." Worried for their son, Juicestain's parents transported him to the quiet town of prairie du chien. Then came kindergarten. Juicestain would make his greatest allies there and would learn to do battle should the earth ever need him. He also was cursed with Appendicitis, the terrifying monster that could've taken Juicestain's life. He battled valiently against it and with a team of healers and clerics was eventually able to send it back to H.E.double hockeysticks.

Juicestain moved again, this time to an even smaller village located in the rocky mountains named Estes Park. He learned the ways of all martial arts and learned to "Video Game", a great asset. He would also assist his father when his frail frame could not take the service of the church. That's right, Juicestain became an alter boy. It was also here that Juicestain met a man named Morpheus who gave him a choice: red pill or blue pill. Juicestain kicked Morpheus in a really sensitive area and chugged both pills along with a magic potion and he blacked out. While he was blacked out, he discovered the secrets of the universe such as the meaning of life, what god's favorite TV show is, and the combination to the vault of french fries at mcdonalds. The next day juicestain forgot everything.

He would be moved once more this time to the arctic north of...Canada. Yes even after a millineum of experience, Juicestain could still remember this hate that had laid dormant in his belly for so long. When news of the next relocation reached him, he yelled a mighty battle cry and famously stated "I don't wanna." A mighty storm raged for 5 ice ages, 4 apocalypses, and half a season of "The Simpsons" the next day.

CaNADSa
Juicestain hates canada for reasons unknown. Therefore he always refers to it as CaNADSa because it is like NADS. He now lives in hell frozen over A.K.A. Iqaluit, Nunavut. Seriously its pretty bad up here. CaNADSa and Juicestain have a love/hate relationship, it started when CaNADSa shoved a grenade down Juicestain's pants, temporarily disabling him. Juicestain retaliated and punched CaNADSa in the face. Also CaNADSa is an emo geek. In Iqaluit he met a lot of challenges but overcame them all. It was also in CaNADSa that Juicestain was shot 90 times and started 10 rap careers. All of them were huge successes until he started making movies which were kinda good but still not cool with the fans. These failures (along with a video game called Juicestain Cent: Waterproof) led Juicestain to hate CaNADSa ten times as much resulting in a hurricane that wiped out half the moon. A few centuries ago, Juicestain set up the "F.U. Canada" organization, which is dedicated to destroying the "U" in words that don't need it like "colo u r" and "fo u r".(P.S. if there are any canadians reading this and they know me I'm joking)

Family
Juicestain's mom and dad are awesome people.

Dad
A nice guy all around. He went to all the most wicked colleges and universities when he graduated high school at the age of 6 (his parents held him back 6 times) and he knows almost everything and is where Juicestain got his incredible brains. He has written many books but his masterpiece is called "Prisoners of Hope"'. It has galaxies of knowledge, is 98 septillion pages long and spans 5 universes. He also has a disgusting bump on the left side of his head. It is actually a second brain growing from his head.

Mom
The greatest cook in the world (not including Juicestain) she has also mastered all the martial arts and the martian martial arts and has created her own martial art called "tai kwon roshambo". She has taught Juicestain all he needs to know to save the earth every now and then. Her favorite thing to do is making sandwiches of a legendary nature.

Music Legend
Juicestain has also composed some of the most memorable music ever, in fact he composed all the most memorable music ever. His masterpiece is the song "Pull my Trigger Finger" which has won 10 grammys, 4 oscars, 3 golden globes, and went quadruple platinum 2 seconds after it was released. Even reading the lyrics has caused peoples ears to bleed and their faces to melt.

Worst Enemy (the fool who thought he could take Juicestain)
No one had the guts to fight Juicestain, and rightly so because Juicestain would destroy all the jerkwads. But then a small dwarf by the name of Adam Brody (A.K.A. Aaron Stranger Danger Fraser) took the challenge and nearly hurt a hair on Juicestain's head whilst playing with a penguin. In response, Juicestain broke his emo shoes into a billion pieces and scattered them across the universe. Adam Brody searched and searched for them and grew in power. He came back and attacked Juicestain with an army the size of freaking Jupiter's mother. It didn't work, as Juicestain's own army of 117 robot/zombie/pirates defended Juicestain with great honor. However Juicestain was wounded on his lower back. He has cleverly covered this scar with a tattoo the shape of a penguin. Adam brody was not killed and continues to annoy juicestain with small threats. someday these two will have an epic battle to end it all.

People Juicestain Knows
Jesus- everyone knows him

Brad Pitt- seriously

Yo Mama- they know each other pretty well

The Freakin' Pope- won't return my calls

The President- his nickname is Ga-Wa-Ba

The New President- I helped him by threatening John McCain about death, yeah, we tight now

Osama Bin Laden- killed him

time travel
Juicestain has traveled in time about 600,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 times now. Why? because he can, thats why!

Lucky Number
117 is Juicestain's lucky number.

-It is the number of lives he has

-The number of clones he has made of himslf

-And the number of robot/zombie/pirates he has in his robot/zombie/pirate army of awesomness.

-The number of bullets he uses in a revolver when playing russian roulette.

The Juicestain Mobile


Juicestain also has the wickedest, most bomb, awesome, sweet ride in the history of wickedest, most bomb, awesome, sweet rides. He has had it since the beginning of time when the Earth was formed and Juicestain said "Let there be Bombardier!!!". This awesome thing is known as the Gravedigger and it is totally sweet.

SWEET AWESOMENESS
(you can edit my page, i truly don't care((alright just don't put anything offensive on though(