User:Jules Atticus/Attachment behaviour in wolves/Bluup Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jules Atticus


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Jules Atticus/sandbox


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Attachment behaviour in wolves

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello,

I have read the article you are editing, "Attachment Behaviour in Wolves".

I think the inclusion of the section discussing the differences in human attachments between pups raised by wolves and pups raised by humans is interesting and provides good insight on how easily attachments can form between caretakers. I think the section discussing play behaviours in wolves and their affects on attachment also provides good information on why these behaviours exist in the first place. Your tone is neutral throughout the article.

I did find that certain words were used repeatedly throughout the article, such as "behaviour", which was used frequently in the intro paragraph. Some sections in the intro paragraph are worded a little awkwardly, such as "behaviour of the animal that is seeking to be close to its object of attachment characterizes this behaviour". This sentence could be reworded to flow smoother. The lead could go into further detail on the contents of the article.

The sources you used seem to be from reliable sources and are used equally throughout the paper, however a few more sources may be useful. The sources were not linked in the bibliography of the sandbox, so I had to access them from the main article. Some of the sources appear to be older, so adding some newer sources might be useful. Most of the information adds to the article and is relevant, but the last paragraph does go a little bit off topic. The ability to recognize the direction in which a human is looking are compared between wolves and dogs, however it is not mentioned how this affects attachment in the animals. This could be fixed by tying in the role of attachment to understanding where humans are looking.

Overall a good article, keep up the great work! ~