User:Juliaa.bibik/Surui language/Mnj02 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Julia.bibik


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Juliaa.bibik/Surui language


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Juliaa.bibik/Surui_language&diff=1011668562&oldid=1011668474

Evaluate the drafted changes
The Lead is more detailed in introducing the Suruí language; it adapts upon how many speakers there are and its linguistic and historical components. However, I believe it would be more fitting to move the second half of the Lead to your historical sub-section of the article so that the Lead looks less clunky. It would be easier to develop this information in this section further. This information is essential but for example, the content stating: "The Suruí engaged in many wars and conflicts with the indigenous neighbors. The Suruí language is very musical. It is filled with onomatopoeias and idiophones. Through songs, they can retrieve important moments of the past and continue on their traditions" could be broken up to both a historical sub-section and a phonology sub-section (if your resources allow) because it would make it more organized.

While most of your statements do well in being neutral, the statement "The reason for the migration was to flee from the hostility of the Whites" can be taken as having a biased stance for an outside reader. Your sources are all there and very up-to-date for a small language, but it would be best to back up your statements with these sources by adding a citation. I think you have a great and diverse amount of sources, so this would be really important.

You have some minor grammatical problems, especially in the Lead, but I think you did an excellent job adding such a small article. Speaking in an active voice can also help the tone of your article. Images can really enhance this article, like an image of where Suruí is spoken and the native speakers. I know I need to add more to my article too. Linking to other articles will help as well, or at least being consistent with the linking.

Overall, I think you have a great draft that mainly needs to refine the more minor details. I think you did really well in detailing some of the histories of the native speakers of Suruí, and once your article is done, it can help bring more awareness to this language.