User:Juliakaplowitz/sandbox

Peer Review by Adelaide Owens

Julia, I think your additions to the lead section are very well written and important to the article. I especially liked how you went more in depth about her role as a woman of color and her background because I think that it pulls the reader into the article. I have a couple suggestions for what you could change in the lead article and a couple of things that you could add to the article as a whole. The first line that I might rephrase is the third sentence of your lead draft. You say " Hamri is recognized for her talent as a woman of color in Hollywood" which I might change to Hamri is recognized for her talent AND as a woman of color in Hollywood, she thrives..." because the first phrasing sounds a bit like she is only recognized because she is a woman of color. The second suggestion I have for your lead draft is a little bit more vague, but it stood out to me as something that was a little distracting while reading the article, which is the use of past vs. present tense. It gets confusing in lines like "as Hamri was extremely talented and driven" because this suggests that she is no longer talented and driven (though I get that you were referencing her schooling). I think that you could fix this by making sure to end past tense sentences with some context like "as Hamri was extremely talented and driven while at school." Lastly, for the article in general, I think that you could choose 2-3 of her music videos/films to analyze more deeply and talk about how she used her art to shed light on the lack of color represented that you talk about in the lead section. Make sure to add the citations and I think you've got a really good article!

Peer Review Response by Julia

Addie, thank you for the comments! I didn't realize how the phrasing sounded when I talked about Hamri being a woman of color, so I will be sure to change that. I will also adjust the wording and make the lead section all written in present tense, as Hamri is continuing to work as a filmmaker in Hollywood, and is still talented and driven. As for choosing to analyze more of Hamri's music videos and films, I think I will just stick to doing this later in the article because I don't want to make the lead section too long and in depth. Also, I will add citations, which I have yet to include. Thanks again!

 Sanaa Hamri Lead Draft 

Sanaa Hamri (November 15, 1974—Present) is a Moroccan-born American film, television and music video director. Hamri has worked with world-renowned artists including Prince, Mariah Carey, Nicki Minaj, and Sting, just to name a few. Hamri is recognized for her talent as a woman of color in Hollywood, as she thrives in an industry mostly dominated by powerful white men. She has been influential in shedding light on the racial oppression and lack of color represented in Hollywood, and many of the subjects in the content she produces are African American. Some of Hamri’s most notable work to date is her film, Just Wright starring Queen Latifah, the wildly successful Sister of the Traveling Pants 2, and her music video, Super Bass, which has over 600 million views on YouTube—her most popular video thus far.

Hamri was born to Moroccan Muslim, Mohammad Hamri, and American Jew, Blanche “Blanca” Hamri. Her parents met in Morocco, which is where Hamri spent the early years of her life. Since childhood, Hamri faced gender discrimination that would, like many women, follow into her adult career. At one point, Hamri was the only female student enrolled at her high school, American School of Tangier. Eventually, Hamri received a scholarship and moved to the United States to attend university at Sarah Lawrence College.

Her education opened many doors for her, as Hamri was extremely talented and driven. She moved to New York City after college with dreams of becoming an actress, but struggled to find work. However, Hamri progressed towards production and was a natural. After making a few videos, she was discovered by famous cinematographer, Malik Hassan Sayeed, and her career began to take off.

Hamri has made her mark in Hollywood since the early 2000s and is not done yet. Her films have been described as “challeng[ing] all forms” by being “about black women by a black woman” (Cobb).