User:Justaquickieaccount

The Red Menace

Once upon a time there was a dashing young man named Christopher. He would sit in the library, elegant prose flowing from the tip of his PaperMate. But then, something terrible happened. A vile demon appeared in a flurry of ruddy hair and trite conversation. This Red Menace brought at first annoyance to young Christopher, interrogating him about his incomplete work and a delusion she termed “best friendship.” Christopher endured this brutal attack as he always endured such hardship, with his razor wit. “If only I could slice my wrists with wit,” he mused as she droned on. Christopher was as a rock – a rock as handsome as it is wise – amidst the red tides in a sea of insanity. And the tide was high. Silently he prayed for just a touch of nuclear hellfire, centered on her head. None was forthcoming. The god of Atheism was out, or something. “Perhaps a slight neurological affliction that would destroy her mind?” he thought. “A virulent strain of syphilis?” But Christopher dismissed such ideas as redundant in her case. But then one of her myriad of ramblings came to mind. “You only got fifteen minutes to finish my story, Chris!” she spewed. Yes! Time would be Christopher’s salvation. An old maxim occurred to him, which he appended: Man fears time, and it’s time for 7th period. He mused with satisfaction that she wouldn’t understand the reference.