User:Jvalle58/1994 bond market crisis/NatashaVij Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Jvalle58 (Joe Valle)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Jvalle58/1994 bond market crisis
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * 1994 bond market crisis

Evaluate the drafted changes
You're article overall looks great! I hope you find this feedback helpful.

Lead: I think your lead gave a good overview about what occurred during the 1994 Bond Market Crisis. Since I didn't know anything about this incident, I was trying to read the lead without going further to see how a typical user might understand your lead. I think it flowed well and wasn't overwhelming with information. One thing I would maybe consider changing is the placement of the first graph. It looks like it's apart of the lead. As a user, I feel like it might be better to see that graph near the background section instead.

Content: The content added to this page make a lot of sense. I like how you started with the background before diving into the actual crash. It gave a good amount of context to the article. I also think you made good use of the countries you used.

Tone: Overall, I think your tone was neutral and matches what I have read through on other Wikipedia pages in my past. There were a few points throughout your article that you seemed to make somewhat strong statements. One example of this includes your first sentence when you say that the crisis was a "very sharp, sudden drop". I understand why you would include this, but I'm not sure if this statement was almost too extreme. Another example is in your section on the United States. You wrote the following sentence: "Prior to the Fed's meeting in February, many weren't expecting a contraction.". I wasn't who you were referring to many. You might want to consider clarifying this.

Sources: You made good use out of the types of sources you used. While you used many news sources, you balanced it with scholarly sources as well. You might want to consider checking your news sources against this list of approved news article lists put out by Wikipedia. Most of your news sources seem fine; but there are a few that might not match this list. News sources

Organization: I really liked the way you organized your article. I think it was very clear. You started by going over the background and then the physical crash. It makes sense that you then went into the impact of a few selected nations before going into the overall aftermath. Some of your sentences could use a review. For example, the lead has one sentence that reads: "At the turn of 1994, amid the recent economic recovery, a subsequent rise in rates, along with the relatively quick spread and permeability of bond market volatility across international borders, resulted in a mass sell-off of bonds and debt funds as yields rose beyond expectations." You might want to consider breaking sentences like this apart to make it more concise.

Overall: I think you added a lot of great information onto this page! The flow of this article makes sense and can be easily understood by non-expert audiences.