User:Jwozniak19/Acoustics in Multi-Purpose Sporting Venues/Moonexma Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Jwozniak19)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Jwozniak19/Acoustics_in_Multi-Purpose_Sporting_Venues?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
This draft has a lot of great potential in the content, however the organization, grammar, and tone of the article could use improvement. The lead needs to have its own section at the top without a header (it is automatically included) and be a short sentence specifically stating that the article is about how acoustics are used in stadiums. The article currently has an overly detailed explanation about inter-space noise control that could be a brief explanation linking to that article without explaining the concept on the page (for example Acoustics in stadiums use Inter-space noise control, the science of limiting and/or controlling noise transmission, to....). After the lead, the current content could be split up into two separate sections, one for the science behind the acoustics and one for the applications or examples. The content posted is up to date and relevant, but perhaps could be more well rounded by providing examples beyond European football stadiums. There are places, such as "Acoustics in Sporting Venues is unique" (should be are since acoustics is plural), "people want to hear it on TV", and "At the end of the day" where the tone is too casual and could to take on a more scientific and observational tone. Similarly, there are many grammatical errors such as "Architectural decisions like this as well as trying to keep seats as intimate and close to the field as possible" that need rewriting in order to clarify and consolidate concepts. This will allow the article to flow better.

The photo that is already inserted is well captioned and relevant, but could be larger and spaced better. An additional stadium photo that shows an more technical and inside view may help the reader to better visualize the concept.

As a new article, the topic is one that has good coverage and relates to other subjects that are relevant. However without a more fleshed concept with more examples and sources, this maybe sit better as a sub section of the Architectural Acoustics page than its own page. This article is interesting and has lots of potential to open the topic of sports acoustics up, but needs to be more organized and well-written before stand as its own article.