User:KBfade24/Oncorhynchus kawamurae/Jklossok Peer Review

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Evaluate the drafted changes
Introduction provides good background to the topic. I like the brief overview provided regarding the history of Oncorhynchus kawamurae and their recovery. Including the Oncorhynchus kawamurae’s relatives was also great background information. Overall the introduction does a great job of gives me an idea of what is going to be discussed in the article. Your subtopics History and Morphology and Life Cycle are also informative and provide a great general structure for further discussion. Your discussion regarding the spawning stage of Oncorhynchus kawamurae is well developed and gives the reader a good visual of what changes occur to the salmon during this life stage.

From your history section I learned that the Oncorhynchus kawamurae was originally an endemic species of salmon and that they are highly sensitive to changes in pH. Although the translocation was not successful in the long term, this made me wonder why they were translocated. Were they endangered in 1935? Did Japan want to increase Oncorhynchus kawamurae populations to create a food source for the community?

In your subsection Morphology and Life Cycle, you could potentially add more information regarding their life cycle. Does spawning season occur every year? How old are the salmon when they spawn? How long does it take for the eggs to hatch? Do they undergo the typical life stages (ie. fry, smolt, etc.)? Overall the article is easy to read and has good writing structure; some of the terminology used may be a bit technical for the general public but I believe this terminology can easily be interpreted based on the information provided in the article.

Content builds off of what was described in the original wikipedia article. The work is balanced and highlights notable aspects of this species' history and present state. Structure is good: it is clear why sentences are grouped together and organized in subsections. I’m assuming that your paragraphs with only one sentence will be expanded on - if not, they can potentially be placed amongst other paragraphs. Under your Feeding section I would suggest adding a space to separate it from the bibliography.

Overall article tone is professional, neutral and consistent throughout. A sufficient amount of sources are used and are from reliable and academic sources. “Oncorhynchus kawamurae is related to the sockeye salmon, Oncorhynchus nerka, and has been earlier treated as its subspecies O. nerka kawamurae” needs a citation.