User:KC.Ma14/User:Avalonolava/Van Taylor Monroe III/KC.Ma14 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Avalonolava


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Avalonolava/Van Taylor Monroe III


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * none

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
There has not been any new content since March 17, so I assume that the lead has not been updated to reflect any new content added by my peer. It does have an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic. The lead does not have a brief description of the article's major sections, only a sentence describing the mediums the artist uses. Interestingly, this sentence is also information not present in the article. The lead is overly concise, it needs more descriptions and overviews from the main article.

Content
Most of the content is relevant to the article, however the mention of numerous celebrity figures seems excessive and the heading sections dedicated to exhibitions and murals could be just be simplified to be sub-headings under a career heading section. Although the content refers to work done in 2008, it is up-to-date. There is no missing content, but the information containing Monroe III's medium usage could be cut out entirely. From what can be told, the article kind of deals with Wikipedia's equity gaps. The only references the article makes to African American history and culture is that his work is featured at the National Museum of African American History and Culture.

Tone and balance
The content added feels neutral. There are no claims that feel heavily biased either. A viewpoint that I feel may be underrepresented is the African American history and culture aspect, I would like more information about Monroe III's contributions surrounding that topic. Another topic that would need some expansion would be his "early life" or biography section of the page, more information surrounding his life at an early age would be great. However if there is not much information regarding that, it might be difficult writing something about that section. The content does not attempt to persuade the reader in favor of a certain position, other than that Monroe III was responsible for designing "Obama '08" and where it could be found.

Sources and references
Some of the content is backed up by reliable secondary sources of information and reflects what the cited sources state. Though, one of the sources takes you to a landing page rather than the intended information meant to be referred. I'd say the sources are sort of thorough since they have information backed by museums with metadata and all sorts of other info, as well as sources that lead to the artist's website and another to his interview with Claudrine Arnell. There may be more sources about Monroe III on the web. The sources are current. It is not known who wrote the information for the museum links, but the other links do not seem to be written by a diverse spectrum of authors representing marginalized individuals whenever possible. There might not be a better source for the museum links, but the other links could have other sources that are better. However, I doubt there is a peer-reviewed, scholarly article to help since a search on both OneSearch and Google Scholar come up with nothing. The links do work.

Organization
The written content is okay at best, concise but really short and more could be elaborated on. There was only one grammatical error that I could spot, "Bachelors" should be bachelor's. Other errors consisted of strange capitalizations. Other than that, there are just word choices throughout the page that could be exchanged for something better. As I have stated previously, the exhibitions and murals sections could be simplified to fit under a career section as sub-headings or subsections of the article. It feels unnecessary to have exhibitions and murals stand out as their own sections as the article currently stands.

Images and media
There are no images found throughout the article to enhance the understanding of the article.

Overall impressions
The article feels like it is lacking and needs more information to improve the overall quality of the article. It is currently a stub. Some of the strengths of the article are that it informs me of the artist who made the hand-painted Nike sneakers, a bit of the artist's life, his contributions, and that the article was concise. However it is too concise and too short, needing more information and elboration on his life. The content could be improved by fixing some of the grammatical errors, such as the "Bachelor's" and capitalization, and by expanding and elaborating on Monroe III with more information surrounding this person.

I do have to say though, I completely understand if the author does have some difficulty writing the article. I came into a wall with Terry Boddie since most, if not all, the images/visual material pertaining to my artist are protected under copyright. Which could also said for the information from his website. Also, there was very little to no documentation at all about Boddie's early and current life so it is incredibly difficult finding information to write about.