User:KahyahS/Recitatif/Teddymolineaux Peer Review

General info
KahyahS
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:KahyahS/Recitatif?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Recitatif:

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead is a strong length for this Wikipedia page at around 4 or 5 sentences. Any longer may be too informative for just an opening summary section, and any shorter can leave out important information. In the historical background section, consider editing the third sentence to make the word flow easier; "Both of these definitions suggest the story's episodic nature, how each of the story's five sections happens in a register that is different from the respective ordinary lives of its two central characters, Roberta and Twyla" might be understood better if broken up into two sentences. Final sentence, remove the comma after "The story is" - edit to "The story is then, in several ways...". The plot summary is strong and informative, but if you consider adding a few more sentences to provide more information about the short story the viewer may be able to get a better grasp about the plot. Without telling the whole story in the plot summary, it is important to provide more than just a short summary. The "themes" section for race and prejudice is very good, informative, and well-rounded, but considering there is nothing under the gender section I am thinking you are still working on that part. If the gender section is the same length and style as the race and prejudice one, it will be very good. When it comes to the character encounters section, there are a few technical areas you may want to just reread (commas, proper use of quotations, etc.) but the section's content itself helps the reader to understand why their encounters have been important.

When it comes to your tone and balance, the neutrality of your "themes" section is effective as it is important to not be prejudiced or biased when creating this page. You may want to look through the encounters section and touch up a few areas but overall the section is mostly neutral and stays unbiased. The content you have added to this article is definitely helpful to the viewer because it provides a sort of meaning behind the content itself; it is one thing for the viewer/reader to understand what is going on in the story, but the themes section that you added helps them to understand why certain things happen and that is possibly more important than understanding simply just what happens. The only thing I would suggest for the themes is possibly adding another 2 or 3 sentences to the second section of race and prejudice to explain why it is important - you mention that it is an important element but it might be more effective if you elaborate on that further. Once you publish the themes for "gender", I would focus on keeping it around the same length as the ladder and really focusing on the elaboration of why things matter like you did for the race and prejudice section.