User:KahyahS/Recitatif/TheRealJackyT Peer Review

General info
KahyahS
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User%3AKahyahS%2Fsandbox&diff=1187661481&oldid=1180589782
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Recitatif&diff=1187661602&oldid=1131450991
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Recitatif
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Recitatif

Evaluate the drafted changes
It was little tricky to evaluate what goes where, so take all comments referring to structure/organization with a grain of salt.

Lead

-The Lead effectively captures the merit of the story, although it may run too far into the actual plot summary and less of an overall view. It might be good to try and move some of that down into another section.

Content

-Content is really great! I love the depth in the themes section, but there are some spots where the wording could be improved a bit for better flow.

Tone and Bias

-In the race and prejudice section, I'm not seeing any sort of reference. If you can find one backing up the claims made, it would go a long way in supporting the argument from an objective perspective. Overall though, no personal views creep in at all and it does a good job remaining as an unbiased reporter.

References and Sources

I think this is really your Achilles' heel in the article. It would be good to go back and embed more of them in lower parts of the text, especially in the themes section of your article. You have good sources, they're just all front loaded in the introduction and don't really trickle down to the rest of the article.

Organization

Like I said before, right now there's a discrepancy between the article and the sandbox, so I'm most likely saying things that will be obsolete soon, but the main issue I noticed is the hanging "gender" header in themes. Also, you may want to consider moving the paragraph in "plot summary" down into the "characters encounters" section and combining them into one larger plot summary.

Final Thoughts:

Really good article! A little disjointed in some places, but I'm sure the problems will iron out as the final version comes in. My main suggestions would be to combine the two sections and add more references throughout areas that could be considered subjective, mainly themes.