User:Kailey strafford/sandbox

Hip-hop Feminism:
There is no History section on the page. The only time they talk about the four core elements of Hip-hop- rap, break dancing, graffiti, and DJ-ing- is in the bottom box to link to other articles. The first section of the Hip-hop feminism page is not concise and most of it needs to be structured under a history section.

In the opening statements they talk about the feminist waves, which should be discussed under a history section, and should be reworded. The second small section should be moved to the opening second sentence. The larger third paragraph should not be in the beginning, there are sentences that should be incorporated into the beginning but for the majority it should be under a history section. There are a large amount of quotations from books, when in Wikipedia's guidelines it says that we should be stating the information without quotations. There is a large recounting of books, which could be put into a section of significant works in the Hip Hop feminist movement instead of being written about in the introduction. The definitions section should be moved into the beginning introduction, because that is where hip hop feminism should be defined. There is a large amount of wordage and it should be summed up and concise so that the audience can read it.

I plan to move the definitions section into a summary in the beginning and then create a history section where most of the information from the intro can fall under. I will also be in charge of the opening statements in the history section, which will come largely from the sources, "The Stage Hip-Hop Feminism Built: A New Directions Essay,” by Aisha Durham and “Under Construction”: Identifying Foundations of Hip-Hop Feminism and Exploring Bridges between Black Second-Wave and Hip-Hop Feminisms,”by Whitney Peoples.