User:Kaitlinabeele/Data Ecosystem/Grilledtandoorismoke Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kaitilinabeele


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Kaitlinabeele/Data Ecosystem


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * One of the best leads I've read! It's clear, to the point, and neatly and comprehensively summarizes your concept. Excellent work here.

Defining a Data Ecosystem


 * "Key to this initiative are data intermediaries, which facilitate access to the data, and are categorized into seven types including data trusts, data exchanges and data platforms"
 * A comma after types would help with grouping/clarity.
 * "The web browser becomes the data provider, as it shares a users information"
 * A user's. In need of apostrophe for the possessive!
 * "The point of an ecosystem is that all actors within the shared environment are are"

Mapping a Data Ecosystem


 * "The platform then is the service, tool or platform"
 * May want to consider the Oxford comma? Would help with grouping/clarity. It would turn into "The platform then is the service, tool, or platform..."
 * "Again, to use the example of a web browser -"
 * I would recommend an em dash here instead of a regular dash. (- vs –)

Data Assemblages


 * Is there a way you might be able to adjust the image sizing? The image itself is great to help explain the concept of a data assemblage, but it is rather large and imposing.
 * "These systems encompass the technological, political, financial and best practices that sustain the collection, transfer and dispersion of data."
 * May want to consider the Oxford comma here too, to turn into "transfer, and dispersion of data"
 * "Your web browser as a data provider have their own assemblage of hardware, software, servers, finances, infrastructure and practices etc."
 * A comma between practices and etc.
 * "It's possible that different assemblages.."
 * Conjunction. Change to "it is"?

Concerns about Data Ecosystems


 * Are there specific people who are raising these concerns mentioned within the first few phrases of this section? You may want to consider citing them here.
 * "But there's also a level..."
 * Conjunction here too.

General Comments


 * This was a really refreshing article to read! An overall excellent job!
 * A few grammatical nitpicks. Look out for your conjunctions, Oxford comma, or sentence structure.
 * You may also want to take a look at some of your references and the errors Wikipedia lists. E.g., errors attributed to Kitchin have to do with listing it as "Second edition" instead of the "2nd" in the manual citations.
 * The other sections that I didn't list above like "What are Data?" or "Big Data," simply didn't make it into the peer review because I felt I didn't have anything to contribute to those sections. Good work!