User:Kaiyi.xia/Video game console/ClebGlad Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kaiyi.xia


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * draft link


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * current article link

Lead

 * The lead has been reworded, but appears to convey the same overall statement.
 * The lead does include an introductory statement that concisely describes the article's topic
 * The lead accurately summarizes the content left in the author's sandbox draft
 * No information in the lead is absent from the main contents of the article
 * The lead is relatively short, and appears to be concise

Content

 * All the content added in Kaiyi.xia's article is relevant to the topic. They fleshed out the "history" and "types of video game consoles" sections.
 * The content added appears to be relatively up to date, with second-hand sources like a Paste Magazine article from 2019. However, the article's subject is historical in nature, going as far back as 60 years ago, thus the content in it does not need to reflect modern developments as much.
 * Large parts of the original article are missing in the author's sandbox draft. This results in severe gaps in content such as the lack of examining the components of a video game console, the process of console game development, and the video game console market.
 * The article's content largely does not focus on underrepresented groups or topics, and thus doesn't deal with Wikipedia's equity gaps.

Tone and Balance

 * The content added is a neutral description of relevant historical facts.
 * The article doesn't appear to make any claims beyond those which can be evidenced by reliable second-hand sources
 * The article is an account of the historical development of (and some technical aspects of) video game consoles, and therefore it does not present differing views
 * The content added makes no attempt to persuade the reader to hold any belief, as the information presented is devoid of opinion-based writing.

Sources and References

 * All the content is backed up by a reliable secondary source of information.
 * The content from the sources I checked does not misrepresent what the sources say, and also rephrases what the source says in the author's own words.
 * The sources are from diverse news websites and thus likely reflect some available info on the topic. However, with consideration of the content gaps present in the author's articles, and that the original article contained 65 references while the author's article contains 7, there's likely to be more, better literature on the topic.
 * The sources range from 2012 to 2019. The time period of the sources is not as relevant as the subject of the article is largely historical, so most modern sources are likely to reflect a current understanding of the topic.
 * There are better sources available. Many of the sources in the original article are peer-reviewed journal articles (some of which were included in the author's article)
 * The links that I checked in the sandbox draft article do work.

Organization

 * I found the content added to be easy to read, concise, and tonally consistent with the existing parts of the article.
 * The content added occasionally has grammatical and spelling errors. For example, the author says "There are three different types of consoles which are, home consoles, handheld consoles, and hybrid consoles". A colon after "are" is more appropriate here than a comma.
 * The content is well organized, the sections highlight the major subjects of the history of video game consoles and the types of video game consoles.

Images and Media

 * The article does include interesting images which enhance the reader's understanding of the topic
 * The images are captioned accurately and clearly
 * The images appear to be public domain and thus adhere to Wikipedia's copyright policy
 * The images are presented and organized in a visually appealing way, and would work even better if the original images were left in the article

Overall impressions

 * The Lead, History, and Types of consoles sections do feel more complete with Kaiyi.xia's additions. However, the missing components of the original article negatively affect the completeness of the author's work.
 * The strengths of the content added are that it utilizes strong organization, interesting images, and is all relevant to the topic and neutrally written
 * What can be improved is adding back the missing components of the original article, and some minor grammar fixes