User:Kalinatodorov/Evaluate an Article

Urban agriculture in West Oakland
Urban agriculture in West Oakland

Why you have chosen this article to evaluate?
I chose this article because I'm interested in urban agriculture in the East Bay, such as the Gill Tract, and the amount of information that is available about the current sphere of these local initiatives. This is important because it discusses a theme of broader global movements (i.e. food sovereignty) with case studies in agroecology that show how these are manifesting on the local level. My first impression was that this article could be broadened from "West Oakland" to the entire "East Bay" so that it includes information on urban agriculture in the relevant surrounding areas (East Oakland, Berkeley, Alameda, etc). This article also has a lot of information on the history of urban agriculture in Oakland, but the section on current initiatives could be developed with more up-to-date information.

Evaluate the article
Lead section

The lead section has a concise opening sentence, but the following paragraph seems overly-detailed as it includes long direct-quotes that could be paraphrased in a more digestible manner. It includes information on food insecurity, food justice, environmental racism, and other issues that aren't discussed in the rest of the article; this information could be condensed for the lead section and these topics further discussed in their own section(s) within the article. This section could also briefly summarize the section on "Current initiatives and legislation," which isn't mentioned.

Content

The information is relevant to the topic, but the topic may be overly-specific, which might hinder the article by preventing relevant information (from the greater East Bay) from being included.

The content discusses events from as far back as the 1960s and 1970s, but only goes as recent as 2013: The article could be updated with more recent information.

Tone and balance

The tone of the article seems neutral. It includes historical information and associations of organizations without presenting any problematic bias in my opinion.Sources and References

The facts in the article mostly cite their respective sources. There are some claims that could be further cited ("...provides West Oakland residents with healthier, more sustainable, and locally grown produce"). The sources seem relevant and credible, many coming from Oakland city council documents and information about organizations from the organizations themselves. Although the existing sources don't seem to be an issue, I believe the article could be improved with more scholarly journal citations (there are little to none). The information doesn't necessarily warrant scholarly references currently, but if the article were to be expanded, I think academic literature could massively support the credibility of this article.Organization and writing quality

The rest of the article seems to be generally clear and straightforward. The quoted material could be more condensed and paraphrased for clarity (similar to the lead section). There are 3 main categories (History, Urban agriculture and the West Oakland Food System, and Current initiatives and legislation), and the second category has 6 subcategories representing 6 examples of relevant organizations. I think the article could be supported by more categories and subcategories, so that each section can be clearly referenced and expanded upon. For example, the history section could potentially incorporate subcategories separating the history of relevant legislation, local ground work, etc. It could also potentially include sections about relevant movements and discourse, such as the work revolving food sovereignty, agroecology, environmental racism, etc. There are no apparent spelling errors and only minor grammatical errors (comma placement).

Images and media

There are only 2 images in the article: a photo of a local farm plot in the introduction and a photo of one organization's storefront. I believe the article would be supported by more visual elements, especially since themes like "landscape beautification" are mentioned. Additionally, in Oakland -- where agricultural land must fit into the dense urban landscape -- more photos could help portray relevant context of urban agriculture in the city.

Talk page discussion

There are no discussions in the talk page for this article.

It is rated Start-class and Low-importance under both WikiProject California and WikiProject Agriculture.

Overall impressions

Overall, the article seems like a good start to an exploration of urban agriculture in the Bay Area. It succeeds at providing neutral background history for the included topics, but could be improved by expanding upon this information, and broadening the geographic sphere of which it covers. This article doesn't seem poorly developed as much as it is under-developed, and could be improved, in my opinion, by elaborating on the themes and examples of East Bay urban agriculture. It could be updated with recent information and examples, the information could be revisited and paraphrased to add more clarity, and more claims could be added and supported with reference to scholarly literature about the topic.