User:KamiEHornberger/Midwives in the United States/Bingonera4 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

KamiEHornberger


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:KamiEHornberger/Midwives in the United States?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Midwives in the United States - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * History section, first sentence- there should be a comma after "In 1925", I wouldn't say "in country" that doesn't flow I suggest changing it to " brought over midwifery to the United States", "British speaking"- British is an accent, not a language they speak English so you wouldn't say they were British speaking you might be able to say something along the lines that that they were from England
 * History section, second sentence- Mary Breckinridge didn't create the midwife profession in France in the 15th century, she was born in 1881 and was an American who traveled to England to become a certified midwife, she then brought it to the United States, I think you should definitely talk about her in the article but when you're writing cross check the information across multiple sources to ensure everything is correct.
 * History section, third sentence- a citation to back up your information would help here
 * History section- midwifes were in the United States before Mary Breckinridge so some things might need their wording changed
 * I feel the last 2 sentence of the history section just don't belong in the section; good points just try finding somewhere else to put those points in. Also maybe expand on the past and how they learned what to do without schooling.
 * Statistics section- "As this shouldn't come as a shocker" sounds like you're putting your own feelings into it, the tone of your writing should be neutral with just the information, I also think you can add more statistics to this section
 * Statistics section- I don't think you should copy a chart directly from a website, try changing it up and making it your own
 * Overall, there were only a few grammatical errors to be changed. I would really go back and cross check information and do some more research on the topic. It's a good start, but a lot of information isn't correct.