User:Kate H. Vo/Susan Oki Mollway/ValidWikiLuvr Peer Review

General info
(provide username) Kate H. Vo
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Kate H. Vo/Susan Oki Mollway
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Susan Oki Mollway

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Peer Review:
Lead:

Currently, the lead is short, but, in comparing with the original article, I see that you add that she is also the first "Japanese-American" appointed, which is definitely important! There are no noticeable errors here. Potentially, this could be expanded by adding her former work in law and education, but that may not be needed.

Content:

The content itself is perfectly concise and unbiased. Whereas detail is given to her work as a federal judge, you give the appropriate attention to her accolades and early life. No clear mistakes in grammar or structure were found either. Overall, it might be necessary to add slightly more information about her early life, potentially details about her parents or upbringing that would be relevant. Specifically, I thought your section on her "Professional career" was very well-structured and concise as well.

Tone/Balance:

There are no apparent issues in the tone or balance of this draft. Overall, it is unbiased and doe snot appear to have any issues of irrelevant detailing. In fact, it could be slightly expanded in some areas. Specifically, you give weight to her ascension to the court, which is great as well. The cases could also be expanded on to give more attention to these decisions and their importance.

References:

There are some missing references in the section about her "Professional career," specifically at the beginning. As well, the last paragraph of "Federal judicial service" may be missing some as well. Otherwise, your citations are well-chosen and valid.