User:KatherineModrall/Maternal Health/Teaghanf12 Peer Review

General info

 * Katherine Modrall, Jo, Lauren

(KatherineModrall)


 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:KatherineModrall/Maternal_Health?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Maternal health
 * Maternal health

Evaluate the drafted changes
Strengths of the Revision:

- Correcting grammar and made the sentences flow better

- Changed words to be more politically correct and least offensive ie the switch from American Indian to Indigenous

-Going into the causes for the racial disparity is an incredibly important aspect of this issue so that was a great addition implementing specific examples and statistics was a good add

-Specifics about the postpartum hemorrhaging were helpful changes

- You did a really good job of emphasizing how economic status plays a huge role in this disparity which the other author was trying to argue against

Suggested Changes:

- some of the suggestions may seem a little bias even though they are great ideas it could be interpreted as swaying an opinion

- Not many changes I can suggest since this was very good but maybe link a wikipedia page to postpartum hemorrhages