User:Keagan Beckner/Motionless in White/Citrusaries Peer Review

General info
(Keagan Beckner)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Keagan Beckner/Motionless in White
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Motionless in White

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: The lead for this specific subject of the band is succinct and informative. I like that it's straight to the point and informative, though maybe there's a way to get more specific about the elements of this documentary?

Content: There's not a TON of content here but there's already a decent amount on the original page itself, which makes it harder to include a lot of information if it's already detailed on the current page. I like that this is a specific aspect of the band's work, seeing that it details a recent documentary. I see that there are a few elements included in the details of the documentary's content itself; maybe we could go into a little more detail here? Instead of studio jokes, guitar jokes, etc. maybe provide some examples you can recall from the film? Just to make the content a little more interesting without making it non-informative. Same thing for saying that the documentary is full of interviews - which members have what to say? Maybe give some direct quotes to again make the content more interesting and detailed rather than vague sentences. This seems like such an interesting topic, but I'm not feeling like I want to know more about the documentary, and I think having more detail would help with this. I also think adding some screengrabs of the documentary might make it more visually interesting.

Tone: Overall there's a very succinct and informative tone. I don't have a lot to say in regards to keeping the information objective.

I really like the idea of adding this section to the band's page, I just think it might be worth it to give some more detail that grabs the attention of a reader. Obviously, it's important to remain neutral and objective, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it to add quotes and things to make it more interesting/engaging for a reader wanting to know more, and potentially watch the film. Good work so far!