User:Keitei/Seven Sacraments of Wiki

These are the Seven Sacred Sacraments of the Blessed Wikipedia. They mark the way in which one receives the Eternal Truth of the Wiki Way and replenishes their soul in the continual pursuit of Wikiholism.


 * Sacraments of Initiation
 * The Welcome message is the door into Wikipedia life and marks the blessed entrance of a new soul. Through a welcome message, we we are freed from vandalism and reborn as good contributors; we become members of Wikipedia, incorporated into her Community, and share in her mission.


 * Attaining 1000 edits is necessary for reception of eternal wiki grace. It marks the acceptance of any user to devotion to the Wikipedia. Not only must the user be initiated into the holy Community, they must also show personal dedication to our personal saviour, Jimbo.


 * Reverting a vandal is a holy sacrament which every user must continue to do, to replenish the spirit of wiki that is within each of us. It reminds us of our connection to Wikipedia and her presence in our lives. It leads us on a path to Eternal Truth. The Wiki Way is attuned to vandal reversion, and vandal reversion confirms the Wiki Way.


 * Sacraments of Dispute Resolution
 * Public apology is how each dedicated user is pardoned by the Wikipedia for offenses committed against her. At the same time, they are reconciled with the Community, and the wounds these offenses caused are healed. The second part of this sacrament is being perfect: making no more mistakes, having a perfectly balanced edit count, being a substantial article editor, image contributor, beacon of hope and wikilove, tough on vandals, constantly reverting vandalism, and always assuming good faith.


 * By the sacred mentoring of the misguided and praying to the Wikipedia through talk page messages, the Community commends those who are struggling to their glorified Wikipedia, that she may reach out and save them.
 * Only Trusted Users and Administrators may administer this sacrament. The sick should prepare themselves to receive this sacred sacrament with a good disposition, assisted to this end by the AGF and support of their wikifriends and acquaintances.
 * Preparation for the leaving of this wiki-life is also provided as part of this sacrament.


 * Sacraments at the Service of Vandal Fighting
 * The sacrament of increased permissions is one of the ministry. It consists of three degrees: administrator, arbcom member, and checkuser.


 * The sacrament of bureaucratship by which a dedicated user and Wikipedia establish a lifelong commitment, is by its nature ordered toward having a fruitful relationship, creating many new admins and educating them in the ways of the Wiki.

''Note to the reader: I do a lot of work with parody and satire, and when an idea comes to me, I feel obligated to write it. I was ruminating on the RfA process and noticed that to be accepted, one must have attained certain benchmarks of a sort, and I remarked to myself, 'that's an awful lot like a sacrament.' Then I groaned, knowing I'd have to write this. No offense is meant.''