User:Kelley Ruetten

Kelley Ruetten was born on November 13, 1990 in Shawano, Wisconsin. Being able to do twenty-six pullups at the age of four, it was obvious that she would become an Olympic gold medalist and professional infomercial host, rising to a fame even higher than Billy Mays. Unfortunately, fate reared its ugly head, and she lost all of the muscles in her arms in a freak wand duel.

Kelley now resides in Green Bay, Wisconsin with her harsh yet loving older sister who makes mac and cheese for breakfast. One can usually find Kelley sitting on her screened-in porch, reading V.C. Andrews' books and drinking peach juice. Her favorite cigarettes are Pall Malls, although she sometimes indulges in Marb 27's. Kelley attends NWTC night classes and is quickly on her way to becoming NWTC's youngest, laziest student that floats on by with only her wits and beautiful smile to charm her teacers into passing her with at least a C.

CHILDHOOD:

Until the age of five, Kelley lived in Waupaca, WI with her two older sisters, younger brother, and parents. Kelley's father was offered new job in 1995 in Lake Havasu City, Arizona as a banker. He took the deal, and Kelley road tripped it all the way to Arizona with her fam. Kelley lived in Arizona until her freshman year of high school, when she moved back to Wisconsin to kick it with her extended fam and finish up high school. Kelley was accused of being a vampire at her new school, but the kids said her serving arm in volleyball was righteous, so they were nice to her, for the most part. For her senior year, Kelley moved to Antwerp, Belgium to study the human sciences, learn Dutch, and meet a few nice Belgians. She had the best year of her life, but she doesn't feel like going into detail about it.

PAST TIMES:

When Kelley has a break from her life of unemployment and kickin' it all the time, she likes to play the easiest version of solitaire and sing in the shower, when she takes one. Kelley also likes to cook Pastaroni and play with kitties. And spanging.

MUSIC:

Kelley doesn't really play any istruments, but she likes to sing and dance! Some of her favorite music includes: Mice Parade, The Books, Bon Iver, Bowerbirds, Public Enemy, Iron and Wine, A Paper Cup Band, and a few more.