User:Kelleymiller

Kelley Miller is a 44 year old caucasian female hailing from the scenic, Appalachian region of the middle United States. Although little is known about her mysterious childhood, by the age of 35 Kelley was diagnosed with a variety of mental illnesses that have not yet been identified as part of the DSM-IV, for which she is currently receiving outpatient mental health services in the country's most comprehensive mental health system. She is a historical and highly controversial figure to many Arizonians, as she is considered to be one of the sturdiest women to have ever walked the state's desert. Unfortunately for Kelley and her allies, her reputation came under seige in 1991 follwing the infamous Peacock Lady Incident. For the next several years, articles in the Arizona New Times described Kelley Miller as a woman of "loose sexual morals" and "generous physical proportions". Thereafter, however, a wave of left-wing radicals known as the "Millerbutches" stormed the editorials of the paper's rival publication - The Arizona Republic - with supportive sentiments. In 2001, the nature of Kelley Miller's sexual identity was made even more public when she decided to run for public office in the city of Apache Junction, where she was viewed largely as a woman of "good moral standards" (for that community). At the start of her campaign Kelley's widely known preference for sexual encounters with women of child-bearing status was used as a platform for slander by her opponents. Soon after, however, it became evident that the citizens of Apache Junction had a warm spot for a woman that knew what she wanted, and reached out to seize it despite the gigantic obstacles that lay in her face. Aside from her sexual and political incorrectness, Kelley is well known for having lost the most weight of any woman in Apache Junction, AZ. At the height of her success, Kelley appeared in a multitude of prime time advertisements, including her most famous, self-made diet aid: "Stone Cold Butch." According to reports by the city's local newspaper, The Junction Tribune, Kelley lost nearly 300 pounds of body fat during the famous winter of 2003. At the end of her term in office, however, Kelley not only regained the weight but nearly doubled in size. As a result, product sales of her patented weight-loss supplement, "Stone Cold Butch" flatlined and Kelley was forced to file bankruptcy. As a result, Apache Junction ex-communicated Kelley Miller and forbid her or her harem of 27 pets to come within a 10 mile radius of the city. Today, Kelley Miller is considered one of America's 10 Most Wanted for her alleged forced sexual liasions with among the most grotesquely disfigured women in Maricopa and Pinal counties.