User:KennethCaslib/Illnesses and Issues: California Gold Rush/Siranov Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

KennethCaslib


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:KennethCaslib/Illnesses_and_Issues:_California_Gold_Rush?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:


 * The lead of the article creates a great thesis for the rest of the article.

Content


 * Article covers a lot of information about the diseases and other issues during the gold rush era in California.
 * Information is supported with numerical data such as years and numbers of people coming in.
 * Logical and Chronological sequences are consistent.

Tone and Balance:


 * The tone of the article is mostly formal, with little exceptions, such as: "This sudden shift in the economy throughout the 1800s brought new life to those who were living on the edge of life, but soon later became a catastrophe due to biased labor, racial discrimination, and countless diseases due to the unsanitary conditions of the mines". This sentence can be modified to sound more formal.

Sources and References:


 * The references are not added yet

Organization:


 * I would suggest to divide the article into more paragraphs and sub-divisions

Images and Media:


 * No images were added yet

New article requirements:


 * There is an article about gold rush in California on Wikipedia, but there is no article that describes the conditions of imigrant workers and other participants of the gold rush. Therefore, this article presents it in a new way.

Overall impressions:


 * Great job!
 * Can't wait to read your final draft.