User:KeolaMax/Priacanthus meeki/Sophie esq Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:KeolaMax/Priacanthus meeki


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:KeolaMax/Priacanthus_meeki?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead section:


 * Good introductory information, consider adding some transitional words so that the text flows smoothly
 * overuse of the word "it" makes the text choppy and less engaging

Description:


 * consider running this portion through Grammarly
 * rewrite the last sentence, it could be revised and possibly added to your first sentence with the initial mention of the fishes big eyes
 * Try to include more specific characteristics regarding the fishes appearance / behavior / lifespan

Distribution/Habitat:


 * The first two sentences of this portion are slightly confusing to me.
 * Move your 4th sentence to the beginning of your paragraph
 * Unclear what regions this fish can be found
 * Include more information about its habitat, water depth, and diet

Human use and cultural significance:


 * This potion looks good, I like the information that you have
 * rephrase the last sentence, it could be sharpened up a bit

Overall, you have good information and sources. When composing your information make sure that's its presented in an orderly manner that's easy to follow and straight to the point, avoid filler words and consider adding a real life picture of the fish.