User:Kevahcoles/HighScope/Sctbr Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kevahcoles


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kevahcoles/HighScope?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * HighScope
 * HighScope

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)


 * I think you have done a good job of improving the neutrality of this section by removing the sentence "Results were initially disappointing" from the original article.
 * I wonder if you can cite the data to Heckman himself, instead of to Spring, even though Spring does provide authority and avoids any risk of introducing your own interpretations. You could perhaps cite to both of them for different parts of your statement.
 * I would consider changing the phrase "because the study was conducted in the 1960s, researchers have been able to follow the children who went through the Perry Preschool Program through adulthood" for a couple reasons. First, the sentence structure strikes me as a little clunky. Second, I'm not sure that it is necessary. Third, "researchers" is unspecific and could perhaps use a citation.
 * I might consider paraphrasing the extended quote from Heckman which makes up the second paragraph of your section. I think that Wikipedia generally does not like extensive quoting (though I might have my own personal disagreements with this).