User:KevinAbbondanza/Naima Jillal/MichaelSwift198 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Naimi Jillal


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:KevinAbbondanza/Naima_Jillal?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

All in all after taking a deep look into the wiki page Naimi Jillal being created by group one you can see that they have brought together this piece well with some good information. To start off a bit this group did a good job with their lead. There was a good and clear introductory sentence that described the article and what was going to be talked about. It did a good job of bringing you into the topic. The content is definitely up to date and has correct information but I would say that a few more things could be added. It would be smart to talk a bit about her childhood and how she came into this big position within the drug world. That is something that can be very important about her history and tell a lot about her story. Besides that it is definitely concise and has a good amount of information. The content of this page is definitely unbiased and is told how it is. The creators of this page did a good job of keeping it neutral so that readers don't sway towards a certain side, they can read exactly what happened and make a choice for themselves. Generally speaking about their page when it comes to sources they did an okay job about naming their sources. In their first topic on their bio of Naimi Jillal they had good sources but for their next two topics they don't cite any sources. This can be a big problem because we have no idea where this information is coming from and wether it is truthful or not so that's a big criticism that I have that definitely needs to be fixed. Many problems can arise from not having sources named. One thing I liked about this paper was the organization. It was clear and easy to read. One thing to maybe add is one or two more pictures, it may just create an all around better looking page with another picture. Overall these draft is a good draft but has some things to work on. Having a bio about Jillal's childhood and fixing the sources problem can turn this into great page for sure.