User:Kevin Cartwright/Braille literacy/BSI26 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kevin Cartwright


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kevin%20Cartwright/Braille_literacy?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template

Evaluate the drafted changes
LEAD


 * The language used in the lead section includes metaphorical language which can be interpreted as not being concise and lacking in objectivity. For example, “the braille code has become a fresh spring of life that has no doubt helped to wash away past painful memories of illiteracy for blind people.”
 * The year in which Louis Braille invented the Braille code (1824) was not mentioned.

CONTENT


 * The explanation of Braille is good. It is clear, detailed and shows knowledge of historical evolutions and current debates on the topic.
 * The year in which the Universal English Braille Code (UEBC) change was introduced would provide more clarity.
 * The opening section ‘What is Braille?’ is not left-aligned at the beginning.
 * Some examples of current digital tools for reading when blind would be helpful.
 * In the ‘Braille and Early Literacy’ section, the last sentence in the first paragraph is unfinished.
 * The Statistics section is very interesting. However, could there be a more recent update included? (The 2007 Annual Report from the American Printing House for the Blind was used)
 * There is a section named ‘ReadBooks! Because Braille Matters’ which contains information on ReadBooks’ but nothing on ‘Because Braille Matters’. Is 'Because Braille Matters' a program (in which case it requires some information to be provided) or a statement from the writer?
 * The section on ‘Twin Vision books’ requires a period at the end of the last sentence.
 * There is a question in the final section. This should be changed and rewritten in unbiased sentence form.

TONE AND BALANCE


 * The tone is largely neutral, and will become more so after the suggested changes are made. Most notable of which is the question at the end.
 * The article is well balanced.

SOURCES AND REFERENCES


 * Only two of the twenty references are from the past decade. Most come from 2009. Perhaps the inclusion of some more recent studies will be beneficial (if available).
 * The article includes a good variety of source types.

ORGANIZATION


 * The content is well-written overall. However, please see the notes suggested regarding minor punctuation errors.
 * Review the ‘Because Braille Matters’ note. I believe more information on that particular program has been omitted by accident.

IMAGES AND MEDIA


 * There are no images included in the article. Some suggested images that you could add:


 * 1) A picture (painting) of Louis Braille.
 * 2) A picture in the ‘What is Braille?’ section to show what Braille looks like.
 * 3) A picture in the ‘Braille and New Technologies’ section to show an example of a digital tool used to support blind people.
 * 4) A picture in the ‘Programs’ section depicting Hadley Institute for the Blind and Visually Impaired alongside its geographical location.
 * 5) Braille Challenge winners