User:Kevinbrogers/Sandbox/Monk articles/Happy Birthday, Mr. Monk

"Happy Birthday, Mr. Monk" is the ninth episode of the eighth season of the television series Monk, and the 117th episode overall. It introduces Virginia Madsen as T.K. Jensen, Captain Stottlemeyer's new love interest. It is also the only episode of the series not to begin with the words "Mr. Monk."

Plot summary
Natalie tries to throw a surprise birthday party for Monk while he investigates the mysterious death of an office building's maintenance man, and then later the possibly connected murder of a patent attorney.

Plot synopsis
Late one night, a maintenance man, Bradley Foster, is working late at an office building, sweeping up. While he's doing that, someone else is doing some work of their own in the basement utility room. The mystery intruder picks a lock, and breaks into the utility room, then fiddles with the trash compactor's access panel. Upstairs, Foster finishes up, and gets on the elevator to head down to the compactor. He turns on the compactor and starts dumping garbage in, but the machine jams. Foster shuts off the breaker, then climbs in to remove a piece of metal that has jammed. As soon as Foster has cleared the jam, the mysterious intruder steps out of the shadows, and switches on the circuit breaker. Foster tries to flee, but falls into the machine and is brutally ripped apart.

The next morning, Natalie Teeger asks Adrian Monk what he wants for his birthday. Monk hates birthdays, particularly his 50th birthday. They go to the squad room, which is deserted because everyone is hiding in Captain Stottlemeyer's office with a cake and paper plates. Monk does his Zen Sherlock Holmes thing and quickly figures out what's going on. When she can't answer, he accuses her of throwing a surprise party. When he threatens to leave, Natalie asks him to play along but he says he can't. Stottlemeyer and Lieutenant Disher share a look of defeat, and Stottlemeyer notes that they should have remembered that Monk is the best detective around.

Later that day, Monk is called in to the Bradley Foster crime scene, as Natalie promises him that she's going to throw him a party no matter what. Stottlemeyer, Disher and two uniform cops exchange some jokes about Foster's death, with Stottlemeyer suggesting that his car will be a compact, though Natalie is unimpressed. Monk notes that Foster must have been screaming for his life the whole way down. The building manager, Paul Wellman, comes in and explains how he found the dead man. He says he came in at around 8:00 AM this morning and saw the door open. He turned on the lights and saw streaks of blood, and then saw Bradley's compacted remains in the compactor. Monk quickly deduces that someone else must have turned off the lights, meaning that it's murder. Wellman says that he's been looking at the security tapes from the building lobby and has noted that there was only one other person in the building at the time, a man named Richard Meckler, who has an office here, however, he doesn't believe it means anything - Meckler does frequently work late at night. Monk wonders what Meckler does.

Richard Meckler (Lex Medlin) is a patent attorney. They locate him at a public reception. On the stage, Meckler introduces the Laser Vac, the world's first ever self-cleaning vaccum, as well as Kurt Pressman (John Carroll Lynch), the man who invented the machine. Monk arrives and is awestruck by the device. Later, as the guests mingle, Disher talks to Meckler and his wife. As Meckler chews nervously on a pen, he confirms that he knew Foster, and confirms that he was gone by midnight and he didn't see any strangers or anything in the building that would have caused him to suspect something wrong.

Stottlemeyer goes to the bar for a drink, and notices an attractive journalist, T.K. Jensen (Virginia Madsen), who works for a tabloid called Consumer Currents. He goes over and flirts with her. He makes small talk and mentions how he was satisfied with the motorcycle that he bought based on the magazine's recommendation. Stottlemeyer tries to guess what TK stands for and admits it'll make it easier for him to track her down, but she refuses to tell him what it means.

Meanwhile, Monk talks to Pressman and expresses his admiration for his work, and asks about how the vaccum works. Pressman directs him to the brochure and is surprised that Monk is praising him so profusely. He wants to buy two and Pressman promises to put him on the list. Pressman gets a Diet Coke for Meckler, but before handing it to Meckler, he admits that he can't tell what it tastes like. Pressman takes a sip, but he can't tell if it's diet, so he hands it to Meckler's wife, who takes a sip and confirms that it is the diet coke. Meckler takes the cup and starts drinking while still answering Disher's questions. A few minutes later, Meckler suddenly clutches his chest, collapses to the floor, and dies of a heart attack, even though Stottlemeyer and Disher attempt to perform CPR on him.

Later, Monk is at home enjoying his new self-cleaning vacuum and cleaning in Natalie arrives and Monk explains that Stottlemeyer convinced TK to loan him one of the vacuum cleaners. As they go, Natalie says she has to stop at her house to get her cell phone. Monk quickly goes back to his phone and dials Natalie's cell number. When the cell rings in Natalie's purse, he figures that she was trying to lure him to another surprise party. When she wonders why he can't go to a birthday party, Monk reluctantly agrees to tell her after closing the drapes and turning off the lights. He explains that when he was ten years old, he watched Cowboy Hank, a TV cowboy who was his hero. His mother hired Cowboy Hank to come to Monk's birthday party and he brought a rope to do tricks. He did all his tricks and everyone had a good time... and then everyone left. They didn't stay for cake or anything, because they just wanted to see Cowboy Hank. Natalie is less than impressed and insists that he has to have a party and promises that she'll surprise him. Monk doesn't believe it and Natalie warns that it is on.

Meanwhile, Stottlemeyer and Disher search Bradley Foster's apartment. They notice that someone has come by recently and taken Foster's computer and some of his tools. Natalie arrives alone, and explains that Monk is outside in the hall because he thinks it's another surprise party. Monk finally comes in and checks every closet and cabinet to see if someone is waiting to jump out. Stottlemeyer assures Monk that Natalie will eventually throw the surprise party, but they currently have a murder investigation on their hands. Disher explains that Foster graduated from MIT in 1982, worked for General Electric for ten years, and then he disappeared completely, when he started drinking and ended up living here, going from job to job and eventually pushing a broom. Monk finds a bin full of shredded paper and thinks that it's confetti. Stottlemeyer finally gets him to focus on the case. Under a chair, Monk finds a pen, and when he picks it up, they notice that the cap has been chewed on. They quickly realize that the pen is Richard Meckler's, meaning that at some point before he died, Meckler was in Foster's apartment.

At the morgue, Monk keeps checking all of the cabinets containing bodies, hoping that no one is hiding in them. The coroner tells them that a full toxicology test has confirmed that Richard Meckler was poisoned. He notes that there were eight C.C.s of a rare fast-acting toxin called sodium fluoroacetate in his bloodstream. He notes that it can kill a person within less than 15 seconds. Disher notes that he was there and didn't see anything, and no one could have poisoned Meckler without him seeing something. Stottlemeyer, meanwhile, believes that the murder of Meckler has to be connected somehow to Bradley Foster - he backtracks and notes that two nights ago, Foster was thrown into a trash compactor and was torn apart, and the only other person in the building was Meckler, who was poisoned only 10 hours later.

Later, Stottlemeyer calls TK back to the presentation hall. He tells her that they're going to recreate the crime scene. She realizes that he brought him back just to learn more about her, but she doesn't object, even though Stottlemeyer notes that if he called her down just to talk to her, he'd be committing an abuse of his authority. Monk tells Stottlemeyer that they're ready for the reenactment.

In the empty reception hall, Monk reassembles the scene. Monk has Stottlemeyer play Meckler, Natalie play Meckler's wife, and Disher play himself. Monk plays Kurt Pressman, the inventor and the one who brought the drinks to them. They are stumped - the only thing Meckler had to drink was the Diet Coke, which would suggest that that was what the poison was inserted into (he had been sipping at it for at least five minutes when he died), but Pressman and Meckler's wife both drank from the glass and neither of them came down with any symptoms. Natalie theorizes that the pen was laced with the poison, but Stottlemeyer notes that that was the first thing they checked. Disher theorizes that a dart on a long elastic needle was used, and Stottlemeyer tells TK to just nod her head and say "maybe."

Back at home, Monk has trouble with his new vacuum and can't get it to work. When Monk admits that he cleaned the filter, Natalie points out that the technical manual says repeatedly not to clean the air-actuated ionizing filter, and points to the sign on the vacuum cleaner that says "Do not clean the filter". Monk puts his vacuum cleaner on the couch and asks God to take him instead. However, he realizes that they can have Pressman fix it and prepares to rush off to visit him. When Natalie insists that Monk can't miss his appointment with Dr. Bell, Monk realizes that's where the surprise party is located. Natalie tells him that he's won and he'll be spending all his birthday parties alone from now on. Monk agrees as long as they can fix the vacuum cleaner.

Monk and Natalie go to see Pressman at his garage workshop. The inventor admits that he can't think about anything now that his friend Meckler is dead. Pressman mentions that Meckler was a close high school friend of his as well as his lawyer. Monk expresses his condolences and asks Pressman to fix the vacuum cleaner. He agrees to take a look, and puts on his toolbelt, which he has to readjust because it doesn't seem to fit him, and he also doesn't appear to know what tools to use. Pressman asks about the cases they're working on. Natalie suggests that Monk is close to solving it, and Pressman says it'll take until after Meckler's funeral to fix it.

As they drive, Natalie suggests that she and Julie come over with a birthday cake and have a small celebration. Monk notices that a black Cadillac Escalade with Nevada license plates is following them and tells Natalie to make a left turn. She does so, and Stottlemeyer calls them on Natalie's car phone. After he confirms that they are indeed being followed by the SUV he describes, he tells them that someone just put a $20,000 contract out on their life. Suddenly, the people in the SUV open fire on them, and Natalie takes evasive action. After a short chase, she inadvertently goes down a one-way into a workhouse and a security guard stops them. He is gunned down by the hit men as Monk and Natalie flee into the building corridors. Monk is forced to hide in either a dumpster or a port-a-john. Monk says he would rather choose death but finally goes with hiding in the dumpster. The hit men wheel the dumpster away, and decide to throw them in the river. They open the top of the dumpster and force Monk and Natalie to stand up, and then ask them for their last words. Natalie turns to Monk and tells him, "Happy birthday, Mr. Monk," and Monk realizes that he's been delivered to his surprise party. Natalie hugs him and boasts that she got him.

Later, Monk chats with Stottlemeyer and admits that he was surprised. Stottlemeyer tells them that they acquired the SUV used in the chase from the impound lot. He briefly claims they actually had to kill the guard to make it real, and then snickers when Monk wonders if he's telling the truth, and they turn around and see the "shot" guard alive and well (they never shot him and he's wearing fake blood). Natalie arrives with Pressman, who wishes him a happy birthday. As Monk goes to talk with someone else, Pressman takes his glass and slips away.

Stottlemeyer finds T.K. and thanks her for coming to the party. Meanwhile, Pressman takes Monk's glass outside. He uses a spoon to scoop out the ice cubes, which he tosses onto the ground, and then replaces them with some doctored cubes from an insulated container. He then goes back inside and places the glass back where he got it. The partygoers invite Monk to make a wish... and that's when Monk notices a police officer loosening his belt to make room for the cake. Monk remembers how Pressman loosened and adjusted what was supposedly his own toolbelt during his pathetic attempt to fix the vaccum, and he realizes that the belt was not Pressman's at all.

Here's What Happened
The self-cleaning vaccum was actually Bradley Foster's invention (Monk remembers that there were several technical journals in Foster's apartment). He took the idea to Richard Meckler, who was a patent attorney and who also worked in Foster's building, and boasted about how it would be one of the greatest inventions of all time. Meckler must have wanted more money than Foster was offering. He conspired with Kurt Pressman to steal the idea, as they were high school friends. Meckler killed Foster in the trash compacter and then had Pressman be the phony inventor. They planned to split the profits, but Monk notes that while Meckler was greedy, Pressman was even greedier. He decided that he didn't need a partner any longer, so he poisoned Meckler at the reception. When Pressman points out that he drank from the same glass that Meckler and his wife drank from, Monk looks at his own drink and realizes that his ice cubes are square, but everyone else's are round. Monk deduces that the poison was in the ice cubes, and Pressman drank from the glass before the ice cubes had a chance to melt. Stottlemeyer grabs the glass as material evidence as an elderly Cowboy Hank arrives to lasso Pressman and the police take him away.

Later, Cowboy Hank puts on a show of his best tricks and leaves a happy Monk behind. Nearby, TK admits to Stottlemeyer that there's never a dull moment and he invites her for a normal date. He admits that his brakes are shot and he doesn't want to slow down. TK finally reveals that her first name is Trudy. Stottlemeyer is horrified, realizing that it won't work with Monk. He says that they'll stick with TK because "it's cute". Natalie points out that Monk is actually happy and no one is leaving. He admits it's the best birthday he's ever had... and tells her not to do it again.

Goofs

 * It takes closer to three hours for the symptoms to show on a person who has been poisoned with sodium fluoroacetate.