User:Kexinma/The Mermaid (2016 film)/Darianoy Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Kexinma, RobinQAQ


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kexinma/The_Mermaid_%282016_film%29?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * The Mermaid (2016 film)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The Lead did not include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic and did not include a brief description of the article's major sections.

The Lead is overly detailed but the lead is not about the introduction, more like a synopsis.

The content added relevant to the topic but is more like a machine translation version draft.

The content added neutral, did not appear heavily biased toward a particular position. The content did not added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another.

The citation part has a serious question which all the citation links are come from wiki itself. Need to find other citations and need to be add as intext citations.

Both the lead and the article body is focused on behind-the-scene. Many troubles like wrong punctuations, missed capital and weird word selection exist.

For example: "he thought there was something under the sea. Since then, he was fascinated with [the mermaid] story."

"This film inspiration is from the Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale of "The Little Mermaid" . Because Chow is big fairy-tale fan, he want to see the bad guy will get punished in the end of the story."

The content added did not improved the overall quality of the article, too much cross over with the original page.